The scariest part of a relationship or falling in love is what if it all ends? You want to be so optimistic and think that it will last forever but in reality how many relationships actually work? By no means am I saying my relationship is coming to an end anytime soon I'm just expressing how scared I am; overthinking as well. I'm so scared because what would I do without the main reason of happiness in my life? The reason I feel so alive. He's the first and last voice I want to hear every single day and I honestly don't know how I would go about not having him in my life anymore.
Not seeing him for long periods of time is like the seventh circle of hell, you think two weeks isn't a long time until you're not seeing the one person that makes you happy. Two weeks with him flew by quicker than ever but 14 days without him dragged; I felt as though everyday lasted a year.
You'd never thought he'd loose interest in you, it's as though your whole world is coming crashing down and there's absolutely nothing you can do except sit back and watch it all happen. Knowing that he's just not that into you is the most heart wrenching feeling because you were once the only person he wanted to talk to, you were the one he wanted to talk to first thing in the morning and the last at night, you were once the happiest thing in his life, you were once on his mind, and all of it is gone. You know he doesn't have the courage to say how he really feels but you know deep down that he just didn't want to be with you anymore, and knowing that is scary. I don't know how he felt and it's as though he hid his feelings from me and that's sad. It's not like I was always completely honest with him about how I felt but I just wish it would have been different. You start to think; how long did he have that message typed out? How long has he wanted to say it? How long has he thought that way? Was everything he said just to make me happy? I'll never really know.
