My Neighbor's Wife

Chapter 7

Mrs. Lovett takes a seat at one of the benches in her shop as her last customer leaves. She knows that she has a lot of works to do- cleaning the shop and washing the dishes- but she's really tired and wants to take a rest, before she continues on with what she needs to do.

She pushes the dirty plate away from her and places her elbows at the table, her hands holding her head. She closes her eyes and bites her lips as she lets her emotions overpower her.

She does not know what she is feeling. She feels really annoyed that she wants to scream her heart out and at the same time she is tired- tired of everything, that she just wants to curl up in her bed and cry.

There are a lot of things in her mind. Things that she always refuses to acknowledge because she knows that if she does, it will only make her miserable- as if she is not, now. It's been there since the first time she met Benjamin Barker. It's funny how he is then one who causes her pain and yet makes her happy.

She hates herself for loving him.

She tries to stop, at first she keeps on convincing herself that it is just an attraction- it's not. She cannot fool herself, she loves him; it is wrong but she does not care. If loving him is a sin, then she is willing to commit that sin, over and over again- without regrets.

He has an effect on her that whenever he's near her, heart skips a beat and he just takes her breath away. He's the only person that can do that to her- he's the only person that she truly loves. Good news is: he is also very much in love, truly, madly, and deeply in love- the bad news is... with his wife.

She knows that knowing that he has a wife should make her stop wanting him, but she can't. There's just something about him- everything in him is just... perfect. He is everything that she ever wants and everything that she will never have.

As she thinks of these things, tears escape her eyes. She lets it flow, letting it all out, wanting the pain to go away. She has been keeping it inside herself long enough that she feels suffocated- she has to let go. Each tear that she sheds represents her pain and suffering and so, she does not wipe it off, wanting to feel them escape her eyes... escape her.

She sighs as she shakes her head; she stands up and starts clearing away the tables. This is why she does not want to think about what she really feels towards Ben, it just makes her vulnerable. For now, she is just happy that their relationship is blossoming. Before, they only talk when he hands her the rent but now, they always talk- about everything, he confides in her, tell her about his problems, and asks for advice. She guesses that she should be content with what they have now: friendship, although she knows that for her, it will never be enough. ____________________________________

Mrs. Lovett wakes up with a smile on her face. She may be feeling her lowest last night, but today, she feels happy. The crying helped her lot- the pain lessens and her mind is at peace- she's back to her normal self.

She gets up from her bed and discards her night gown to change to her working dress. She fixes her hair, putting it into two pony tails. Satisfied with her look, she takes one last glance at the mirror before she exits her bedroom and heads to her shop to start making pies.

She starts making fillings for the pie, preparing all the needed ingredients first. She is in the middle of cutting the onions when she hears someone enters her shop. It is rather too early to have a customer and for Ben to be downstairs. So, it surprises her that it is Benjamin who walks in her shop.

"Good morning, Nellie." He greets her with his charming smile that she adores. He approaches her; he stops beside her and watches her as she continues on with cutting the onions.