My Neighbor's Wife

Chapter 9

Ben wakes up early in the morning feeling very tired. Both his mind and body feels like it has been overly used- which is true. Last night, he's not been able to sleep well- he is pacing around his shop, thinking about his wife and what could she be hiding from him. He tries to convince himself that Mr. Connor has only mistaken Lucy for somebody else and that she's at her sister's house, enjoying. But, there's a nagging feeling in his mind telling that Mr. Connor is stating the truth.

He feels guilty- and it pains him to doubt his wife but there are reasons why he does so. First, he just realized that the train does not leave until 6 o' clock but his wife told him that she's leaving at 5 o' clock- there's no reason for her to leave so early, the train station is not far away from their home. Second, he does not remember his wife receiving a letter- or maybe, he did not notice. And lastly, he guesses that maybe the reason why Lucy did not wake him up when she left is because then he'll know that she's meeting with the judge.

He fears that his suspicions might be true. Truth be told, it is not impossible that Lucy might really be working for the judge. But what he doesn't understand is why wouldn't she tell him? He just needs to tell her and- well, he knows now: his wife did not tell him because she knows that he would not let her. He does not want her to, because he doesn't see the need for her to work. He is earning enough to support the both of them, it is not a lot of money but it's enough. In fact, he can still save some.

But what about- What if, Lucy has an affair with the judge? Doesn't she love him anymore? What does the judge have that he doesn't, Money? But he could provide her that. Wasn't it enough? Why would she want to bear his child if she can have the judge's? Every time she tells him that she loves him, is it true or only for a show? Why would she stay with him then, if the judge could clearly provide her luxury than him? Out of pity?

He gives out a frustrated sigh, he should not be thinking like this. Lucy loves him and he's very sure of that. He shakes his head clearing his thoughts away. Thinking only gives him headache; after all, he will see his wife tomorrow and he'll be able to confirm all these things. He sighs; he does not know how he is going to open to his wife about the matter- Lucy is very sensitive and she might take it the wrong way, she might think that he's accusing her and that he does not trust her.

Standing up from his bed, he walks to the bathroom and takes a quick shower. Taking a bath helps him- he feels relaxed, the water feels cool in his skin and it refreshes him. For a while, he does not think of Lucy, he can only think of how soothing the cool water is- it momentarily washes his worries away.

He goes out of the bedroom, heading towards his shop. He starts doing his daily routines. He begins to ponder about how he treated Mrs. Lovett last night- he acts differently, and maybe rudely. His excuse is that he is not in his right mind- considering about what he found out- and he thinks that his reason is valid. He knows that Mrs. Lovett senses his obvious distress and that she just wants to help him but he just cannot tell her about his problem. If he tells her then she might think things that are not good about Lucy, and he does not like that.

But surely Nellie wouldn't judge his wife, right? She is the most understanding person he knows. She's not one to judge people without knowing their story first, so he guesses that he can tell her. He needs comfort- and assurance. He is confused and he just wants someone to talk to- someone to tell him that everything is just a big mistake.

After finishing what he's doing, he goes downstairs to- as usual- eat breakfast with Mrs. Lovett. He heads towards the door and closes it behind him; he goes downstairs straight to the baker's shop. Upon entering he sees that she's already seated at the booth near the window, he approaches her taking a seat across her.

Mrs. Lovett smiles at him shyly then looks away; he notices that she does not greet him 'good morning' like she always does. It's like she's unsure of how she's going to deal with him, and he perfectly understands her- what with how he acted last night.