My Neighbor's Wife

Chapter 34

Lucy sets down the cup of tea she is holding, but not without taking a sip on it first. She leans her head back on the sofa, massaging her temples, feeling a headache coming in. She is currently at the parlor of the great Judge Turpin, with whom she now considers her most trusted confidant. She has shared with him the trials she is facing with her marriage, and also when she has accidentally killed the bastard child of her husband.

At first, she really has been hesitant to tell all of these to Judge Turpin or Richard- which he insists she calls him. But, once she has started telling her predicaments to him, he has understood her, showing her support instead of judgment upon hearing her stories. He has told her to be brave and to not let Ben's actions affect her greatly, for it will not solve anything but make matters worse.

He has also offered her to let him deal with Mrs. Lovett, saying that he can do something if she wants her to just disappear without a trace. He has also asked if she wants her husband to be punished, after all what he has done to her. Her only response has been that she will think about it.

But she must admit, Richard's offer has got her thinking. Can she willingly hurt her husband for the sake of revenge? Besides, the judge has not specified what actual punishment he will bestow to him.

Although she loves Benjamin, her hatred for him runs deep. What he has done to her will be forever embedded in her mind and heart. As his wife, he has made her feel so incapable of being able to satisfy him, hitting her self-confidence really hard. For him to find another woman that will do what she usually does for him, tells her that she is not good enough.

That's why, in reality, she has only led him to believe that she has forgiven him, just so that they can somehow be in peace, but she knows she will never be able to do so. It's alright though, for she's neither stupid nor blind; she can tell that he is also just pretending, pretending that he still loves her, because his heart has been fully captivated by the baker. His apologies mean nothing. They're just fooling themselves, really. The only reason she will not let go of him is because she doesn't want to give Mrs. Lovett the satisfaction of having her husband, and also that little love she has for him.

"Don't worry, dear," says the judge, his voice soft and caring. He gets up from his seat, which is across from her, and takes the one beside her. He takes her hand in his and squeezes it lightly. Looking her in the eyes, he adds "I'll always be here for you."

She smiles warmly at him, laying her head on his shoulder, thankful for being there for her. She doesn't know when they have become so close, all she knows is that he fulfills for her everything what Benjamin does not. She also knows that whenever she is with him, she forgets all her troubles, and even if she remembers them, he is always there to comfort her and make them instantly go away. She is truly fortunate to have someone like him in her life. Sometimes, she wonders why Richard has not found a wife yet; he will be such a great husband and any girl he will choose to marry will be so lucky.

Lucy lifts her head up and stares at the judge, a smile painted on her face. "I'm thankful, for all your help..." she raises her hand, cups his cheek and caresses it with her thumb " ... you know that, right?"

It is like someone is pulling an invisible rope around them, their bodies slowly coming together. The force is too strong for her to fight that she has lost all her strength, that even though she knows what is about to happen, she becomes incapable of stopping it. Instead, she closes her eyes, allowing herself to give in. The half part of her mind screams for her to not do it, to not stoop to the level of Mrs. Lovett, but the other louder half part tells her that it is alright, this is what she wants, and that she's just getting even with Ben.

Her heart beats faster and faster as the anticipation builds up. Her stomach is turning; she does not know if it is because of nervousness or excitement.