whoever's listening//a.i.

untitled:

␛two:thirty-six am

dear whoever's listening, 

i met someone. she's one of the prettiest girls i've ever seen. her name is hayley. she was talking to me in photography class. she complimented my picture of the skyline. she's like a perfect picture, like a saturated sunrise. she told me that she got her heart broken last week. that she caught her boyfriend sleeping with some other girl. she told me that she thought she wasn't good enough. i wasn't brave enough to tell her that i thought she was beautiful. i told her he wasn't worth her tears. she seemed convinced for the brief two minutes we had left of class.

i really like her. she's like that missing part of me. some people spend their lives searching for that one person that makes all their old photographs look brand new. i didn't feel so faded around her. i'm getting better. she called me before, said that she wanted someone who she could pour her feelings into. i listened to her while she talked about her boyfriend, tyler, used to hit her. she didn't understand why she was so upset. i quoted my favorite line from the perks of being a wallflower, "we accept the love we think we deserve." i don't how i can convince her that she is worth more than she tells herself because i can't even save myself. 

calum has been calling ever hour. says he found my notes. i haven't answered him. he's probably going to call my neighbor, allison. she takes care of me when no one else can. she's really nice, but she gets tired of me. i guess i'm a handful. i never really enjoy anything. but she helps when she can. she checks on me. it sometimes can get tiring but she does anyway.

calum showed up at my house tonight. he had dark circles and his eyes were bloodshot from crying. he thought that i committed suicide. maybe one day he won't be wrong. 

thanks for listening. 

love,

ashton