whoever's listening//a.i.

untitled:

␛eleven:thirty-three am

dear ashton,

i'm sorry i've been avoiding you. my parents sent me to therapy. something about getting too hung up on a boy who broke my heart. i don't think they understand, how it feels for someone to rip your heart in two without even you knowing. i guess i envy them. i envy their love and their trust and life. maybe i'll get that someday. i was kind of hoping it was you.the nurses are making me write down my feelings. i decided to write to you instead; you are my feelings as nerdy as that sounds. I think people in therapy are stereotyped, everyone here is really nice. they're better than everyone at school. i guess i know a little about darkness and pain. i wish maybe i could've had you before things got bad again. 

i hope you're okay. calum visited me. he said you miss me. i wish you could've saved me. maybe that's selfish to say. you should listen to better off dead by sleeping with sirens. it really helped me. it might help you, too.

i miss you. 

hayley x 

p.s. don't trust perfection.