Today is the most important day of my life. More important than my 16th birthday. Or when I bought Prim's goat. This is more important than the day in kindergarten when I sang the Valley song in front of everyone. Today is more important than when I won the Hunger Games... And I'm lying in bed staring at the wall.
I know Peeta's been up for hours. Getting ready to marry me. Putting on his suit and combing his hair back like he did at the reaping. I haven't even seen him today. And I probably won't until I walk down the aisle.
I am in no hurry to get up. Effie's not here yet to do my hair and makeup yet, so what's the point?
I roll over and reach for the drawer on my side table. I open it and feel for the pile of pictures that I've kept over the years. The one on top shows Prim and Buttercup. The cat is sitting on Prim's shoulder and she's laughing. Prim holds on to a side of our old chair for support. That cat was heavy and none of us could ever figure out why. He barely ate anything accept a few shreds of uncooked meat and the few rodents that he caught for himself. As funny as it sounds, I miss hearing Prim's high pitched scream whenever the cat would drag in a dead mouse. Her innocence was just so lovable.
The picture beneath it shows Gale spinning Prim around in the air. He loved her so much. He cared for her because he cared for me. If only he didn't blow it at the end, no pun intended, maybe we could have had a future together. I know that I would have gotten real sick of him real fast, though. Too much fire for my taste. I have enough of that myself.
I suddenly hear a peppy knock on the door and flinch, sending a few of the pictures flying. It must be Effie. Peeta knows better than to startle me.
"Come in," I groan, picking up the stray pictures.
"Katniss," she breathes. "Today is going to be a big, big, big day! Now get up! It's time to get ready!" She squeals, throwing the warm covers off of me, and I instantly feel the cool air hit my bare skin. I roll my eyes but get up. She's exited and I should be too. I am exited. I'm getting married today!
"Oh Katniss! Today is going to be amazing. Your dress is exquisite and your bouquet is to die for and the venue is just perfect and oh I just can't believe it! The star crossed lovers of District 12 finally getting married and-"
"Effie," I laugh, taking her hand and stopping her mid sentence. "Today is just another day!"
She sighs, obviously dismissing the thought, and drags me into the bathroom. She sits me down in an already positioned chair. Dozens of makeup products are neatly lined up on the counter. She must have been here before I woke up.
I closely examine all of the eyeshadows that Effie has brought for me. Great. Having makeup being applied to my face is one of the worst feelings in the world. Products with outrageous colors and shades making me someone I'm not. Peeta's lucky. He's never had to wear makeup like I have to. It's disgusting.
"Beauty base zero!" She chirps, grabbing a large brush and dipping it in something at least 3 shades off my regular skin tone. This is going to be a long morning.
At least Effie doing my makeup isn't as hard as it used to be. Before, she didn't even touch me. It was my prep team that would tamper with my face and turn me into a Capitol citizen in a matter of minutes. It's amazing what makeup can do. Now, though, Effie handles all of my beauty needs, and I will say that she's much gentler than Flavius and Octavia.
"Eyes closed," she orders, putting down the brush and picking up a subtle white eye shadow. I don't argue. I follow her commands like I always do. I practically have the beauty base zero routine memorize. I know when to look up. Look down. Turn my head. Close my eyes. The whole process is a lot faster and easier nowadays.
After about 30 minutes of makeup, my look is finally complete. I gaze in the mirror and am impressed at how subtle but flattering Effie made the products look. My neck is stiff and my eyes are stinging from the eyelash that's poking me, but it's worth it.
"Absolutely gorgeous," Effie whispers, placing one of her hands on my shoulder. She knows she's done an especially good job on my makeup this time around. Because I'm smiling. And I love it.
"Now!" Effie says, looking into my eyes. "You did shave didn't you? Like I told you to?" And I nod. I tried to shave my legs last night. It ended in a whole lot of cuts and a whole lot of blood. Now, though, because my legs are smooth and vulnerable, I am more of a woman than I was before. Nice logic, Effie.
"You didn't do a very good job," Effie sighs, examining my legs and frowning. "I guess it'll do. Your dress will cover the cuts anyway."
I nod. But I don't care. What does it matter if some close friends and family see a couple of small nicks on my legs? The entire country saw me modeling gaping wounds and painful burns in the arena, which I think might be considered a little worse. I don't expect anyone, with the exception of Haymitch, to judge me on my wedding day anyway. And I have a good feeling he won't be focusing his insults on my legs.
Effie spends hours perfecting my hair. I wanted it to be in my usual braid, but obviously that would not meet Effie's standards. She does braid my hair to the side, but adds many other braids surrounding it. She uses what seems like hundreds of products and gallons of hairspray to keep the braid in place, and the familiar smells of the chemicals bring me back to the first games. Right before I met Cinna. When the only thing I could think about was getting back to Prim. And winning the games. How simple things were back then. I had one goal and one goal only. Somehow, things are just a lot more complicated now.
"Alright, you lovely bride. We have one hour until we have to leave. I'm going to check on Peeta." Effie says, rushing out the door. I don't know why she's moving so quickly. The wedding certainly won't start without the bride and the groom, and it's not even scheduled to start for a few more hours. I've got a lot of time to fill up. There's not much I can do with a full face of makeup and hair as stiff as a a metal bar. I hate being restricted. It's the worst feeling in the world.
I carefully sit on my bed and grab this week's newspaper. It's the first time I've read it in a long time. And I'm wondering what people have been thinking about me lately.
"First Step Wedding. Next Step Children," I mumble to myself. Yes, that would be the next step. For most families. But I don't expect to have kids. Ever. Period. Too much to handle. Too much responsibility for my taste. But I know how badly Peeta wants them... Stop. One thing at a time, Katniss. Today is my wedding day. Marriage first. Then kids.
The rest of the paper is stuffed to the brim with information about Peeta and I. Most of it being invalid, of course. According to most of the articles, everyone in the country wants to attend the wedding. It's a good thing they can't. It's a good thing Effie told the world no. Hopefully.
"Katniss it's time!" I hear Effie squeal from behind the door. I look up. It's been an hour already? It's crazy how entertaining and time consuming reading can truly be. I've never really been a fan of books. Most of them bored me as a child. My father loved to read, though. When he had the time anyway. There was one story that Prim and I both adored. The mere sight of the beautifully illustrated cover would never fail to put a smile on our faces. I forgot it's name though, which is a shame. Maybe I can ask my mother today, but I can't be positive that she's even coming. All I can do it hope.
I get up to walk toward the door when a golden glint catches my eye. My pin. Sitting on the dresser. Waiting for an opportunity to leave my dusty old home. I pick it up and close my fingers around it, practically grasping the memories.
"To protect me," I whisper. And I pin the familiar bird to my shirt. Where it belongs. For Cinna. For Prim. For everyone that I've ever loved.
I hear my name being called by Effie from outside of my door again. But I don't listen. All I can think about is how proud everyone in heaven must be. Proud of me. Proud of my accomplishments. Proud of my success... Proud of my wedding.
I take a deep breath and open my door. Today is going to be a long day.
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-Melanie 🦁
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Fanfiction"It's been a year, Katniss. People actually heal if they understand how lucky they are to be alive."
