Doctor who quotes (#Wattys2015)

78

The last Christmas
Santa: Moron! Numbskull! Elf!
Elf: That's racist!
Ian: Of course it's not racist, you ARE an elf!

Santa: Oh, sorry about this ... girl? We, we are just three passing ... perfectly ordinary ... roof people, doing some emergency roof things.

Doctor: Happy Easter.
Wolf: Ooh, brutal!
Ian: Cool exit line, though.

Doctor: Nobody likes tangerines!

Shona: I need the toilet!
Bellows: No, you don't. We're monitoring your bodily functions.
Shona: And how are you monitoring that? Cuz that's rude! That is ... perverted.

Ian: Shut your mouth, wise guy, or you get yours!
Wolf: It's a balloon animal.
Ian: That's a toy gun.
Wolf: Yeah, well, at least it's unsuitable for children under four! Parts small enough to swallow, so watch out.

Santa: I got three words, Shona. Don't make me use 'em.
Shona: What three words?
Santa: My. Little. Pony.
Shona: Shut up, you!
Santa: Yeah? I've got lots more, babe.
Shona: I will mark you, Santa!

Shona: The North Pole isn't an actual pole.
Ian: Of course it is. Look.
Shona: If it was an actual pole, it would not be stripy.
Wolf: It's got to be stripy!
Ian: Otherwise, you couldn't see it moving around.
Wolf: It's actually basic physics.

Doctor: There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.

Doctor: Clara, could you fetch me the dead one?
Clara: Maybe I could fetch you a cup of tea while I'm at it?!
Doctor: Ooh. Yes, and a punch in the face, too.
Clara: My very next suggestion.

Santa: Oh, for Easter's sake! Of course you've been dreaming! Haven't you been paying attention?
Ian: Rudolph - did you see the nose?
Wolf: The North Pole? Come on, with stripes?!
Ian: This ...
Wolf: is ...
All: ... a dream!
Santa: How much more obvious do you want me to make it? Because I can text the Easter Bunny, you know.

Doctor: These are Christmas hats, I've seen people use them. You put them on and absolutely anything seems funny.
Clara: Oh, probably won't work on you.

Doctor: No one ever matched up to Danny, eh?
Clara: There was one other man, but that would never have worked out.
Doctor: Why not?
Clara: He was impossible.

Clara: Doctor, am I young?
Doctor: No idea.

Doctor: The TARDIS is outside.
Clara: So?
Doctor: So, all of time and all of space ... is sitting out there. A big, blue box. Please ... don't even argue.
Clara: Merry Christmas, Doctor.
Doctor: Merry Christmas, Clara Oswald.

Clara: Well, look at you, all happy. That's rare.
Doctor: Do you know what's rarer? Second chances. I never get a second chance, so what happened this time? Don't even know who to thank.