How it Happened

Chapter 7

At the time, I had no idea what Violet was on about. I sort of wish that I had. It's not like I could have done anything to prevent it, but I could have helped prepare myself and the Warren's. However, we are not quite that far into my story.

I wish that I wouldn't do this to myself, though, going through all the old memories. It does nobody any favours and makes me even more of a wreck. I have no energy left for tears now. I'm just lying now, not living, just existing.

It had been two days since I had met Violet on the town bridge. It hadn't stopped raining and I hadn't stopped pondering over her words. I couldn't understand why she was saying such a thing and why she had been crying in such a way that it made her so distant from everyone else, as if nobody could help her. That's what frustrated me, not being able to help her. Violet hadn't even messaged me either.

The worse part of her words was keeping it a secret. I couldn't look Jett in the eye. Sometimes, he would come downstairs and just smile at me. I would crack a fake smile back at him. That's all I could do. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Looking back on it, I should have.

Hazel was her usual self again but the same could not be said about Saffron. She kept giving me side long glances when she thought I couldn't see her. I didn't understand that either. I knew why, but I didn't see the problem. It wasn't a big deal that I had a mobile given to me by Violet; not that they knew that it was her who had given it to me. Hazel had managed to overlook it yet Saffron hadn't mentioned it. How long has she been sending me looks? I remember asking myself.

Work had been the same as Tuesday. Although the unrelenting rain seemed perpetual, everyone acted as if it just didn't exist. Nobody minded a spot of rain, including me. I didn't mind getting wet and the pitter-patter of rain at night was somewhat comforting. Especially seeing as it was so similar to the sound of the river by my childhood home.

That time I did think about it, I wanted to. Every now and again I would sit by the open window in my room just to watch it and take it all in. The wonderfully damp air that smelled so fresh and heavy, the taste of foliage from, what seemed like, all over Zelt. I say that because I was adamant that I could smell the familiar crocuses and soft grass that had sprung up by my parent's house every spring.

Even by Friday, the rain continued and life seemed to be going just as it had done the past two days. An awkward breakfast followed by an all too silent walk to the grove with Saffron.

That day, I turned my gaze to her. She wasn't looking at me, she had her gazed fixed ahead of us.

"Why won't you talk to me?" It slipped from my mouth before I could stop it.

"I do talk to you!" she replied, somewhat shocked. She still wasn't looking at me.

"No you don't. You never speak to me, you never look me in the eye and you always send me looks when you think I can't see you. What's wrong?" I practically screamed.

Saffron let out a mini sigh. "You don't feel safe in my care. You don't trust us," she admitted. "Why?"

I looked down in shame. It was only then that I understood why she kept glaring at me, she was trying to figure me out, I realised.

"I have my secrets. I do feel safe and I do trust you, just not with everything. I don't trust anyone with everything," I voiced.

"Apart from the person who gave you that mobile," Saffron added, inclining her head to my trouser pocket. It seemed to burn a hole through my pocket. I was now too aware of its presence.

"They already knew," I explained. Saffron just let out an exasperated sigh, heavier than the previous one. She must have been tired of all my excuses. I wasn't surprised. I had an answer for almost anything that she could throw at me because the likelihood that I had been asked the same question previously was extremely high.