How it Happened

Chapter 4

Those memories make me smile. However, now, there is nothing to smile about. I glimpse something reflecting the dull sun. I crawl over to it, the dust and ash lodging in my fingernails. As I grasp my hands around it, glimpsing the blood dried and crusted all over my fingers and hands. It's my mobile. The familiar metal is now cold despite the ever increasing temperature hanging in the air. I switch it on to look at the one photo that I have left of my parents and I. My tears are running down my face silently now. Nothing can be done. I have truly lost everything. This phone reminds me so much of Violet and the day she gave me the print-out of the photo that now only exists on this phone.

It must have been about a week after Jett and I had found the Shack, which is what we called our safe place. We had visited it everyday just like we had promised and at the weekend, we spent the whole day there. We did nothing but talk about random things and I managed to buy some calico with some extra money that Saffron had given me. It provided little shade but it was still a nice place to escape to. Sometimes I would just sit by the windows and close my eyes, feeling the wind on my face and the changing sunlight. It would relax me. Jett often asked why I sat there.

I would always reply with: "Clarity."

"Clarity from what?" Jett would ask.

"Everything."

"That's quite contradictory. Define everything," he would press. But I could never tell him that. That was the point of the Shack.

"Someday you'll understand," I would reply and smile with tears in my eyes because I was accepting the inevitable. Every time he would grab my hand and smile back. His smile of reassurance.

Well, away from the nostalgia, I am being serious when I say that the Shack was a good place for me to be. I did always feel a sense of clarity and freedom every time I was there. Jett and I would sometimes bring food and drinks that Saffron wouldn't let under her roof. We told each other stories about ourselves (me, not so much) and of things that we heard. We told jokes to each other and had a lot of laughs and fun. This place was a replacement for my medication. My nightmares were less frequent but still haunted me. They were also shorter and I knew how to deal with them now.

So after one of the best weeks that I'd had in ten years, I was running to meet Jett in the Shack. I had brought a bag of sweets for us to share. I was incredibly late but I knew a short cut already and I was nearly there. Then my phone started buzzing in my pocket (perfect timing). I stopped quickly and leaned my worn, sweaty body against a nearby wall. I could feel my white t-shirt starting to stick onto my skin. I was so out of breath as I slumped my backpack onto the floor and wriggled my phone out of the sweaty pocket of my crop trousers.

"Hello?" I said, panting so hard that I was surprised that Violet had heard me.

"What on Earth are you doing?" She asked, without a single greeting.

"Oh hello, Willow. How are you? Oh, I'm fine thanks," I mocked.

"I don't have time for your silly replies. Answer the question," she retorted in a stern voice.

Still panting I asked, "Why?"

"Because your mother left me the task of looking after you!" Violet replied with a rather violent manner. I couldn't argue with that. As much as I wanted to, I never could.

However, I still decided to reply with, "Is there some kind of legal document or..."

"Willow! What are you doing?" She pressed.

"Running a marathon and I'm losing," I replied and picked up my bag and started running again. Yes, I lie... A lot.

"But Willow-"