The Rap God

chapter 15

* Eminem's P.O.V *

I ran into the hospital furious I can't believe it! What the fuck! I ran to the receptionist
" where the hell is room 111 ? " I said in rush I couldn't wait
" third floor to the right " she said and I ran to the stairs I can't wait the elevator I ran so fast that I was gonna fall on my face I got to the third floor and I stopped ....... I suddenly stopped cause I hesitated can I do this? Should I go there? Is it all my fault!
Loads and loads of questions racing through my mind I didn't think about it before! Can I do this when I know it's my fault? Cause I shouldn't have let her go!
And it suddenly hit me that IT'S MY DAMN FAULT! THAT I MAY HAVE KILLED THE PERSON WHO I FELT WAS REALLY MY FRIEND THAT I'M THE CRIMINAL!
I started to hesitate and I walked really slow to the room and I was only thinking about running away but then I thought like " you're so selfish you know? It's your fault yet you want to run away? Really Marshall! Did she deserve it? Does she deserve it now? Stop being a damn coward! " and my mind kinda played a chores that only says it's your fault it's your fault it's your fault
I was about to break down but then I got near to the room and I saw him there ..... sitting on the ground ...... crying and crying and sobbing! I've never seen anyone cry this much lile he's a baby that can't find his mother! Like they looked at him and said " sorry kid your mother is gone you won't see her ever again "
Or like a father that lost his daughter I don't really know!
There's know way to describe it
I stood there frozen looking at him and my mind can't concentrate on anything I'm just looking at him and my legs are moving towards him unconsciously
When I stood in front of him he didn't seem to notice at first
" Nick " but then I was pushed against the wall and Nick is hitting me I didn't do anything I just looked down ashamed! He has all the right to do anything it's my fault
" YOU IDIOT IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET HER GO! WHO IN THE HELL WOULD LET NORA GO OUT AT 4 FREAKING A.M! DON'T YOU KNOW HER? SHE .... She called me I was asleep I didn't answer! She left me a voice message telling me she was at one of the dangerous places in the city looking for Chris! I-I didn't answer .... if I answered maybe I could've saved her it's my fault too " his voice cracked at the end and he fell on the ground and started crying again!
I'm still against the wall with now bruises all over my face and my body that I know will take time to heal but that doesn't matter now I don't give a shit about me now I'm just looking at Nick who's on the ground crying and sobbing and talking hardly between sobs
" it's-- it's my fault too . I-I should've answered! I should've saved her! I prom-promised her I'd always take care ..... of her and save her and be there whenever and wherever-- no matter what!
I- I lied! I'm a liar! She--- trusted me and--- and I let her down! I let the person I care about the most down!
I've never treated her or even thought that she's just a friend---she--- she was like my daughter! I felt like I should protect her like I was born to be her father and friend-- and---- and I let my beautiful little daughter down!
You know I've always felt horrible cause I knew she sometimes slept while crying----- that she thought she wasn't that important or beautiful that she didn't worth alot of things--- I always tried to make her happy to make her feel better about herself--- to-- to let her know she's the best that she's funny, kind, beautiful, deserves nothing but the best and that she should fall in love with herself! I always treated her like my daughter and I even--- I even yelled at her sometimes and telling her to go to her room like I'm grounding her or something when I knew I couldn't ....... I loved that girl the most she was my daughter and I cared about her more than I cared about me .... and now cause I'm such an idiot stubid asshole she's gone! My daughter and friend is gone! The one who used to tell me oh you better choose a girlfriend that I'd like or I'll make both of your lives a freaking hell the girls who smiled and felt very happy about the smallest things! Like if I bought her a chocolate or a balloon she'd jump and keep smiling a huge smile .... the one who had the biggest and kindest heart ever even thought she never admitted it! " he finished and he now is crying even more and I'm on the ground too looking at him and I even started to cry but not as hard as him and I realized how much they really loved each other she always told me he's more and better than any boyfriend cause he's a brother and a father and she was his little daughter! It's all MY FAULT
I can't stand it here looking at him and knowing I'm the reason!
The doctor came and I stood up to talk to him cause Nick of course can't talk like this
" ok doctor can you tell me what happened " I said whipping my face and trying to stop crying
" who are you may I ask ?"
" I'm her friend "
" where's her family? Parents? Brother or sister? "
" she have none in fact me and him " I pointed at Nick " are the closest people to her "
"Ok mr? "
" Marshall . Now can you please tell me what happened "
" some people reported that they heared gun shots the police went there we found her lying dead on the ground beside a white guy ahe was shoot in the head and I'm sorry but she died! The guy was shog near the heart and it was a miracle he survived but regardless he's in coma so we can't know anything more about what happened! " he finished but I only focused on she died! Shot in the head!
" ummm Mr Marshall " I snapped out of my thought
" yeah "
" I don't know if both of you and your friend are ready to see her or no but from how your friend looks like I'm not really sure he's ready "
And here when Nick finally got up and talked
" No, I'm ready shall we "
" are yoy sure? "
" yeah, I'm sure c'mon " the doctor hesitated and looked at me I just shrugged he sighed and told us to follow him
The smill of death that's all I can smell here and it's cold and well just dead and Nora is there on that table covered in white sheet and the doctor is taking the sheet off her face and I'm holding my breath
He took it off and we looked at her and she's Nora ....
The weird thing is that Nick didn't say anything he just looked at her stone faced and I only wondered
How could he stand there looking so emotionless when he was crying a river a few minutes ago?

Yaaaaay!
Guess who's finally back to the orange screen? :D
That was cheesy lol