Is there Somewhere? - Ryden

7

"So what are you going to sing?" Ryan asks, fingers poised on the piano keys in front if him as Brendon sits next to him, sipping on water. He was hungover, that much he knew. What he couldn't remember is what had happened last night. All he knew was that he woke up in Ryan's bed, wet, with a bucket full of puke next to him and Ryan in the shower. He didn't think they had sex, but he couldn't be sure. After all, he had blacked out last night.

When Ryan had stepped out of the shower he told Bren that his first challenge from Pete was today. He was meant to sing a song of his choice for Pete. When the performances were over Pete would pick the top thirty singers to stay. The others? Well, they would be escorted off the premises immediately.

It was all a bit much for Brendon, but he tried not to let the stress of it all get to him. He was a fantastic singer, he would make it to the top thirty. He didn't doubt that much at all. Ryan also seemed unmoved by the challenge. He seemed to have faith in Brendon. That was definitely comforting.

"Carry on my Wayward Son. Kansas." That took Ryan by surprise. His eyes lit up a bit and his lips pulled into a mischievous smile.

"There is a hug guitar solo in that you know. And I can't preform it with you. Can you play that all by yourself?" His eyebrow raises and Brendon instantly feels his own eyes rolling in his head. He stands up from the piano bench and grabs a black sheen guitar and lifts the strap up over his shoulder.

"My father taught me how to play it. It was one of the first songs i ever learned. He figured if I could learn that song, then I could learn any song after that." His fingers dance over the strings as he plays a part of the song, making Ryan's smile turn even brighter. "So yeah, I don't think I'll need your help. I'm fine on my own." Brendon smirks, biting at his lower lip.

After a few moments he sings. But his voice wavers slightly. He shakes his head and clears his throat, but his voice still seems off. Still seems flat.

Ryan rises to his feet and nods at the guitar, which Brendon slowly pulls off and places back on it's stand. "You're pulling too much from your chest and not from your diaphragm." And Brendon's about to say something sarcastic back but then Ryan's begin him, arms wrapping around his waist and hands falling to his lower stomach. Brendon's body tightens, something about the sudden touch making him feel tense.

"Relax." Ryan whispers, fingers applying pressure to Brendon's lower stomach. "And sing. But I want you to focus your energy from here. Right where I'm pushing. Can you do that?" Brendon nods, sucking in a breath before letting his entire body relax. Then he sings.

"Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary eyes to rest
Don't you cry no more"

Perfect.

Ryan's fingers relax slightly as Brendon keeps singing, his eyes falling closed as he builds the song. Ryan smiles softly and leans in closer to him, his nose pressing against the back of Brendon's neck. Bodies flushed together. He feels the vibrations in Brendon's body as he sings and smiles lightly. "Good." He whispers as Brendon sings. His lips move to lightly graze below Brendon's ear. "You're amazing." He breaths, making Brendon stop right there. Was Ryan trying to turn Brendon on? Because if he was, it was certainly working.

Brendon turns around slowly, hands moving to cup Ryan's rounded face in his hands. Their lips are close. Too close. Brendon leans in slowly, letting his lips brush over Ryan's, and for a moment Ryan shows no signs of opposition, but then he pulls away slightly, eyes falling to the ground way from Brendon.

"You want to... You want to kiss me don't you..?" Brendon asks, voice as soft as a whisper.

"Of course i do Bren... It's just...."

"Helena?" Brendon sighs, already knowing the answer.

Ryan lifts his head lightly, looking right into Brendon's eyes as he nods. "Helena." He sighs. "I love her Bren. It's been a really long time since I've loved someone as much as they've loved me and I... I can't ruin that. I'm sorry."

Brendon steps back with a small nod, half understanding and half hurt at the rejection. Ryan wants him too but he can't pursue it. And knowing that he could have Ryan under different circumstances might be the hardest thing he's ever had to hear. It's like almost winning a race, only for the guy behind you to speed up at the last moment and steal the prize.

It's devastating.

"Speaking of... I kind of have to go get her from the airport. Stay here though okay? And practice your ass off. I'll be back tonight."

Brendon just nods and watches as Ryan gathers his things and leaves. But he drops something on the way out. A small brown leather bound book lays on the ground. Brendon scoops it up and looks for Ryan to return it, but Ryan is far gone.

So he does what any other same person would do. He opens it and starts reading.

Ryan Ross' music book. If found please return to -------

Oh, this was going to be a good read.