Dollhouse || Cake

Black Outfits Are All I Am Now

Calum

i really miss Luke.

i keep saying that everyday i look at Arzaylea, who has the dumbest name i have ever heard of to be honest, but every time i look at her in a dress or skirt i think of Luke in one too and then i get upset.

it's been a few days since i broke up with him and he looks so upset and miserable, all he ever wears now are black outfits. i fucked up big time, i fucking ruined him all because i couldn't handle my teammates looking at him like he was some freak who deserved to die. they looked at him with such disgust and hatred and i didn't want them looking at me the same way, god i'm so selfish.

i miss holding Luke, i miss how he could fill a skirt so well, i miss how his legs looked so perfect in any dress he wore, and i miss that he just didn't care what he was wearing cause he always looked so damn good.

and now he has a lip ring. god like is he trying to give me heart attack or something.

as i was walking through the halls to lunch i felt someone smack me in the back of my head and i turned around and was greeted with an annoyed Ashton.

'what the fuck is wrong with you?' he asks.

'well hello to you too.' i say as i rub my head.

'why on earth did you break up with Luke?' he asks as we walk and i just roll my eyes.

'you wouldn't understand.' i simply said.

'wouldn't understand what? that you're a complete fuck tart and cares what some other fuck tarts think about your relationship?' he said as he looked at me annoyed again.

'it's much more than that.' i said.

'yeah, oaky, like what?' he ask disbelieved.

'what is i'm not even gay.' i barely make out.

'right, okay, you're not gay and my curls aren't natural, i curl every morning. what is the real reason you dip switch?' he ask pulling me aside and we took a seat on a bench.

'i'm tired of him being looked at like a freak okay? i, i just love him so much that it hurts me to see how everyone looks at him when he's with me and everyone on the team looks at me the same way and it just sucks.' i finish as i put my face in my palm in frustration and an attempt to stop myself from crying.

'Calum, you can't let some stupid decide what your life should be. i know you love Luke and he makes you happy, happier than i have ever seen and honestly that is all that matters.' he says and i look up at him and he just smiles down at me.

'why are you always right and just know what to say?' i ask with a smile as i wipe my eyes.

'it's a gift, now what's the plan? how you gonna get your man back?' he asks and we sit and talk and think of a plan.

---

'hey babe.' artichoke says as she comes up to me after school and attempts to kiss me on my lips but i make it so she does on my cheek, luckily she doesn't realize.

'hey.' i say dryly.

'so, we should go back to my place and maybe get a little dirty, what you say?' she ask. god the idea of having sex with her is so repulsive and makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

'i can't tonight, i have a bunch of homework and a paper, maybe another night.' i said with a fake sad face.

'you're always doing something, god you never have time for me.' she says with a huff.

'i'm sorry.' i lie.

'something tells me you're not.' she says looking at me.

'okay.'

'we should break up, i think i've gotten popular enough that i don't need you anymore and thanks for helping me pay my mom's rent, bye.' she says as she walks away i'm left confused but happy, now i can get Luke back without anyone in the way.

-Hey

So yes i am back but my updates are gonna be really slow just fair warning you know and that was a much needed break Cx thanks for understanding. I just needed to collect myself and I feel so much better and I am working on Effie don't worry (: I realized that I miss updating and all of you :*

Love you