You are my childhood friend. I first met you at age 9 when my anger was replaced by you. When I couldn't see my mother, when I felt alone. When I would cry while I sang wishing my mother was there. When I was alone, you were my friend. You were my company in my head. You passed and I was happy until you came back at age 11. You were my friend when the world shut me out when nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn't matter. When I was the victim of kids cruel words because of something I could not control; my height, my shoe size, my skin, my face, and my alopecia. You pasted again but returned soon after but stronger. You told me I was worthless, unloveable, ugly, fat, evil, just like him, and you made me believe I was unworthy of love and life. I believed every word you said. How could I not when you were the only voice I had, the only voice that seemed to "care", my only company. I was so hurt I took your suggestions to numb the pain, I went to hurting myself until death. You left but now you are back. You control me; you control my thoughts, my actions, and my heart. I wish to be free, to be released from this cell you have me in. I am not my past, I am not my mistakes, I am not the pain. I shall run out into the light of joy screaming. You shall not have me! You shall not have me! I shall be free. You shall not have me! I will break the chains of my restrains and become free. You shall have me!! You shall not have me!
-mika
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PuisiJust some writings/poems about how i feel. I hope you all enjoy and might relate These are all original, please do not steal without permission from me and if so give me credit.
