Bullied and Broken

Chapter 4 ~

Madeline's POV

As I opened the front door to my house, I called out, not expecting an answer. Unsurprisingly, there was none.

You see, my parents are both extremely busy doctors. Surgeons to be exact, best in their fields. My dad, an open heart surgeon, my mom a neural brain surgeon. The jobs paid well, but they had endless hours.

I sighed, thinking of all the times my parents had missed out on the major events in my life, just because there was a work conflict. They missed out on my birthdays, drama productions, dance recitals, music shows. I believe that they missed out on my life because they were never present in it, only showing up when they wanted something from me, or to reward me for good grades. 

When walking through the mostly empty house, I always got a sense of loneliness. Why? There was usually only me in such a huge house, with my parents working late at the office. Again.

After wandering to my room, I collapsed onto my bed and lay there, letting the words from earlier ring through my head.

Fat. Nobody. Ugly.

I just wish that this house wasn't filled with a terrible silence, making me feel less than what I was, what I am. It made me feel like no one cares. You know that meme on the Internet? Forever Alone? For some, it was a funny joke, just a few words on a page. For me, it was the truth. No one cared, no one cares.

Forever Alone. No one cares.

More words back in my head, just making it all one hundred times worse. Why can't they all just go away?

I slowly got up, and went into my en-suite bathroom. I felt the need to just let go, and give myself some physical pain. It might make the mental anguish go away, if even for a minute. 

After grabbing the razor, I held it above my skin for a minute. Was this the right way? Isn't this giving the bullies exactly what they want? I took a quick gasp of air as I realized that I would have to deal in a different way. Throwing away the brightly shining bit of potential pain, I fell to the ground hugging my knees. 

Reaching out and scrabbling for my iPod, and my only current method of escape. Music. My iPod was already connected to my speakers, so I just pressed shuffle, and hoped I wouldn't hit a bad song

As soon as the first few lyrics hit my ears, I knew that this was the song that I needed to lift myself away from here and my problems. Eminem's Not Afraid.

Yeah, it's been a ride

I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one

Now some of you might still be in that place

I really am, aren't I?

If you're trying to get out, just follow me

I'll get you there

I'll follow you, if you can save me.

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em

But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em

I just need to know that there is people in this world who'll fight for what they believe in.

Cause ain't no way I'mma let you stop me from causing mayhem

When I say I'mma do something I do it, I don't give a damn

What you think,

I just need to know there are people who'll say what they think, no matter the conciquence