Kian's POV
The next morning I woke up and rolled over to hug Jc, I felt an empty bed beside me. I panicked. 'Oh no! Had he found out? Had he left me? Where is he? Does he hate me? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!'
I sit up in a rush, put on some boxers and run downstairs.
"Hey babe, what's up?" Jc asks with a worried look
"Oh nothing. Just got a bit worried as to where you were..." I replied, slightly sweating.
"Okay well, I've made breakfast, want some?"
"Yeah sure"
The truth is I didn't really want breakfast. The guilt was eating me. It made me sick, so sick I couldn't eat.
*2 days later*
What the fuck have I done? I can't do this anymore. This isn't right. I'm lying to my beautiful boyfriend, he deserves better. He doesn't deserve an asshole like me. He deserves someone, different, someone who won't be as low as me....
'Hey babe we need to talk'
'Okay, what's up?'
'Nah babe, not over text, I need to tell u this in person...'
'Kian, what's wrong. Don't say dating like that. You're scaring me.'
'Look Jc it's important. Just please try and get home soon'
'Okay I'll be home in 5'
This was it. I was going to do it. I have to do it. I can't back out now. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't be telling him, right?
Jc walks in the door and my heart starts pounding. My heart is in my throat and my stomach is doing summersaults. Okay this was it, I was going to do it.
"KIAN IM HOME, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?!"
"Jc come sit, this is important. I wanted to start by saying, I am so so so sorry. I honestly didn't mean for this to happen. It wasn't my intention. I'm sorry" I said starting to tear.
He saw me starting to cry.
"Kian, you are really scaring me. What's wrong. Why are you saying this? What wasn't your intention?"
"Jc please don't hate me. I will understand if you do, I will also understand if you want to leave me and never talk to me again..." I paused and looked at him. Fuck! Why did I do this to such a beautiful boy?
"No. No. No! No! NO! NO! NO!" He said gradually getting louder and more aggravated.
All I could do is nod my head. No words could explain how much of an idiot I had been...
"WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW COULD YOU?! WHO THE FUCK WAS HE?!"
"Jc I am so sorry. It was, it was..... Ricky..."
"RICKY?! WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW MANY TIMES?! WHY WOULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU?!"
"Jc calm down. It was only once or twice..."
"KIAN DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME!!"
"Okay. I'm sorry. You know all those times I was out?"
"ALL OF LAST WEEK? YEAH!"
"Yeah, I wasn't shopping I was with Ricky."
"FOR FUCK SAKE!! I THOUGHT YOU FUCKING LOVED ME!! OR WAS THAT A LIE TOO?!"
"NO! JC I LOVE YOU! IF I DIDN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU, I WOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU I HAD CHEATED AND I WOULD HAVE KEPT LYING TO YOU, BUT IM NOT THAT LOW AND I LOVE YOU!"
He stopped. He was thinking. What I had just said had made him stop. Was he thinking I was right? Had I done the right thing?
I was in tears at this point and I was seriously regretting telling him now but it was for the best. It was his decision on what to do now.
"Look, whatever Kian, I'm done with conversation, I'm leaving, I don't know when I'll be back, I don't know if I'll be back. Leave my stuff alone, I will come collect it later. Don't ever talk to me again. Ever!"
Okay well I deserved that. It hurt me, but I deserved it. Now I watched the love of my life walk out the front door and out of my life forever. Even though he will probably never speak to me again, I still love him, I will miss him and I am so deeply disappointed in myself that I could do that to him and I am so deeply sorry.
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Okay so here is my next chapter. Hope you guys liked it. Hope you're enjoying my book. I know I'm enjoying writing it now. It's getting juicy 😉. There will be more next chapter. Have fun 😏😘
-Simone x
