///Sorry for the wait x
Halfway through the song, 'this is it' i thought to myself.
"'Cause if there's somebody calling me on" I sang as i walked over to Gary "he's the one" i pointed towards him and then took his hand. Walking center stage, holding Gary's hand i continued singing. "When you get to where you want to go and you know the things you want to know your smiling" i stopped center stage, Gary was looking at our joint hands.
I knelt down. "When you say what you want to say and you know the way you want to say it" Gary was now looking at me, he seems like he understands where this is going "You'll be so high you'll be flying".
Just like we said we'll do, the band skipped next verse and went straight to the next bit of the song.
"If there's somebody calling me on, He's the one" I looked him in the eyes, he was nearly in tears.
"If there's somebody calling me on" i pointed my microphone to the audience, 'He's the one' i heard all the thousands sing together, and that was it.
I put my microphone down and moved my hand into my inner pocket, taking my other hand out of Gary's grip i opened the small red box, the ring was facing me, I turned the box around and looked up at Gary, he was in tears.
"Gary, will you marry me?" I asked looking him straight in the eyes.he just looked at the ring, then at me, and then back at the ring. No comment, nothing. "Gaz?" I asked again a few seconds later, tears were filling my eyes but they weren't tears of happiness. Everybody was silent, and everybody was staring at us, i felt it. My knee starting to hurt and i was seriously about to stand up and walk off stage, it was embracing. Gary's tears were begging to slow their pace, his eyes weren't watering anymore. He opened his mouth and then closed it.
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Sitting on the kingsize bed at our house, can i even call it 'our' now? I feel lonely. Really fucking lonely. And to think that two days ago i proposed to him on stage. Look where we are now!
Not only i don't have him as company, he doesn't even listen to me when i talk, something he always used to do, or at least doesn't reply. Now i am too broken inside to continue on with this tour. I don't think that i can continue it. Not without him by my side.
It really is amazing how one decision that someone takes changes things so much, changes the daily life you've had for the last four years.
The only thing i want now except from having him back is to know he hears what i tell him, but he just doesn't reply.
I've been waiting for this for so long, and when it looks like we've made it, everything changes because of one decision. Wouldn't it have been better if Gary stayed in New York and not come to the show?
Instead of being with him i am at our house crying, i am not sure if i am strong enough for all this.
We were happy, we were genially happy and all because of one stupid decision what happened did happen.
