Idiots, Assholes, Jerks, Lovers.

Why does he make me feel this way!?

Chapter 1

I dreamed about him again last night. Its been two weeks since I last saw M.P but this is the first time I've dreamed about M.P for a while. I still see the red on his face when I asked him to hug me goodbye. I feel like such a girl! I don't usually feel like the with a guy! Most of my friends are guys! I'm getting frustrated with this.

The dream was actually a big blank except for one thing. It was the part with him. One of my best friends say that its love but.......I'm not sure. I don't get jealous when those other girls talk to him, I get concerned. I don't want him to get hurt and those girls seem like they would dump him the second they found someone better. He's been a friend since the 3rd grade, and I don't want anyone to hurt my friends.

For example, when a J.C began dating A.S, it was a shock to be honest. I had known the both of them for a long time but I didn't expect them to get together. Plus, J.C had become the ex of one of my best friends not even a month ago. He went from a girl as a 7-8 on a pretty scale to a 1-2 girl and I'm not trying to be mean! I heard that from a different girl! Then they started to distance themselves from the others in our little group and I understand how that would be new love but this went on for months and as far as I know, it still does.

I'm getting off topic here. My best friend was gettting frustrated to the point of her texting me and then admtting that she cried a couple of times. That made me get mad at the couple. I acted normal around them but I was angry on the inside. Nobody got to hurt my friends like that and I mean nobody. Then when my best friend and I talked to them about it, the girl started crying and diverted the conversation. And now I don't talk to them as much as I used to.

I'm off topic again, aren't I? Sorry about that. But the dream was simple. A couple of friends and I decided to meet up again in the park. We all went there and M.P showed up too. I was excited and happy. We were talking about something and we were both laughing. My friends would even call it flirting. I wouldn't know. I could be an idiot when it comes to romance.

We were all having fun at the park but then everybody began to leave. He was walking me home for some reason, usually I would walk with a friend. We were passing our old school and while he was telling me something I was looking at him. He wasn't the hottest guy you would ever meet but he was decent to me. He didn't have muscle but I didn't really care. He had black hair and the usual sunglasses that would cover his brown eyes but they were still visible. Dimples in his cheeks that I saw would turn red whenever I was close to him. His eyes made my heart feel like it was going to come out of my chest whenever I caught him looking at me when nobody else did.

Anyway....we were walking and I don't know exactly what what said but we were hugging again. I was looking at his cheek as it grew redder than what I thought possible.  Then I did something that I didn't think I would do, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. I don't think that I would do that, I can be an awkward person. One of his friends who was also my friend ((J.C)had told me that he liked me too and I could see it in the way he acted around me. After that I don't remember what would have happened because I felt something pulling me. I was waking up from the dream with him.

What is this feeling that I feel in my heart? It seems like its aching but I don't know how to explain or to even call it.