Idiots, Assholes, Jerks, Lovers.

Chapter 4

Gosh darn it! For a while I didn't have any dreams about him. Then recently I had another dream about him. I don't remember much of it though. I probably haven't been thinking of him because something else is on my mind. Its another guy but the feeling is different. I can't describe it so I guess you would have to figure it out.

The guy I am talking about is somebody that I have been acquainted with for as long as the other guy I have been writing about.. I say acquainted because I don't know if I can consider him as a friend. We didn't really get along before my best female friend came to our school. They got along better and since I would hang out with her when she hung out with him, and then another guy friend appeared and last year our little group of four became a little group of six, then three, then four again!

Anyway, he and another friend went on vacation to different countries. While they were there, two of us were here. It was something he did before he left though, though I only found out the day after he was gone. I've been thinking about him since the female best friend got excited about him coming back.

They were texting each other and he told her that she was the best friend that he ever had or will have and he loves her and will miss her. That is unlike him. I'm glad that he would say that to somebody but.....I'm thinking about whether or not I consider him a friend or whether he considers me a friend. If I got hit by a car who would visit other than family, if I didn't die from the collision.

Now he is supposed to come back tomorrow. He's the closest thing to a best guy friend I have and I care for him as if he was a brother. But what does he consider me?

I can remember that a year ago I would cry at lunch. When the female best friend and another guy friend noticed. They would try to comfort me and figure out whats wrong but three people didn't do that as much as they did. The guy friend I've been thinking about lately a girl who was involved in some drama last year (If you want to know then go to the first chapter) and a guy that I didn't really consider a good friend. The other one would ask what was wrong but would then turn away without an answer.

 But oh well, I can figure it out at a different time. I think I can understand one thing though. The felling I was having over what he said. I was hurt because I didn't get any kind of goodbye from him. Just a simple hug in school and that was it. I don't know who to consider friends now. I can be happy for what is there and clear to see.