'Love' With You

5. The Letters of A Shy Girl

C H A P T E R  F I V E

T,

It's been five weeks.

Five whole weeks since I've left Oxford for the itty, bitty suburban town of Crayton. It's alright here, I guess. It's quiet, even more so than our neighbourhood. There's a couple of shops here and there but nothing too major.

The house is nice, you'd like it. It's spacious and cozy and there's this nice little back garden with this large tree right beside it. I think it's an apple tree.

That would be nice, I could pick some off and make apple crumble. You always liked my apple crumble. I remember I started to learn how to make it after you dropped yours on the floor in the garden before you could even take one bite, and then you got really upset. Do you remember that? I started crying too because I didn't like you looking so sad. Haha, we were so silly back then.

I know it's impossible but I really need you right now. It hurts knowing that I have to write to you because I can't just get up to go to where you are.

It's not all bad though, I met four new people and they're amazing. There's this girl called Robin (she's my next door neighbour) and she's so pretty! Long wavy blonde hair and green eyes. She's long-limbed and tall too. Along with her great looks, she's really nice. It's no surprise that she has a boyfriend either. Alec is tall too, with the same blonde hair but blue eyes. He's very handsome. They make a striking all-American California couple. It's cute.

Then there's Noah and Hunter. They're both tall, Hunter's the biggest: he plays 'football'. Well, American football anyway. I hate it: it looks brutal. Noah's cute, he's got a mop of black hair and very blue eyes. He's sweet and sensitive: he reminds me of you. He's always caring for me and making me feel like everything's okay and I like that.

Hunter's a major goofball. He's never serious, takes life as it comes and is always laughing and joking. He makes me smile and laugh. A lot. Being around him makes me forget and I like that too.

I wish I was a bit more like him, less shy and more jokey. I'm working on it though because I promised you that I would.

I'm nervous about starting school. I know it's nearly two months away but I can't help but get nervous jitters whenever I look at the bag you got me just before I left. I still haven't opened it yet. I'm scared of what's inside it. I don't even know why, it just makes me nervous. I've put it in the back of my wardrobe so that I know it's safe. I want to open it but I just can't bring myself to for some reason.I know that, in more ways than one, when I open that bag: everything will change forever.

And I don't want that.

Mum's been telling me that everything's going to be okay, she doesn't tell me that all the time; only when I get really nervous and scared. It doesn't happen frequently though, most of the time it's just her smiling reassuringly at me or giving me an encouraging push in the right direction so you don't have to worry too much: everything's going fine in that department.

Even though you're not here, I'm not as big of a mess as I thought I'd be. I haven't done anything drastic that you wouldn't approve of yet, which I'm really proud of because I've been tempted many, many times but I think of you and the urge becomes less forceful. It's hard, but I'm trying.

Missing your hugs,

Clare

P.S I forgive you.

Alec on the side -->