i'd rather be in neverland (a janoskians fanfic)-discontinued

chapter 9

I’ve thought about what my answer is when I walk through the door because I feel bad. I hate him but he’s my father and he hasn’t seen me in six years so the least he deserves fro me is a couple of months with his daughter. 

The walk home with Luke was quiet no one dared to speak because I’m soaking in this moment because im pretty sure by time I get back he’s going to have a girlfriend and for get about me . What the fuck am I getting on about he’s not mine, he can go with anyone he wants, also I’m not even sure if I want him he wouldn’t me anyways. I just sigh out loud and run my hands through my light brown curls.

“it’ll be okay , whatever your problem is, you are always to make it okay” he says with an encouraging smile. He doesn’t even know me that well yet his words make me feel a bit better about my choice. We get to my front door and I’m not sure about what I going to do but I have to do one last thing before I go.

“thank u for everything you’ve done for me I know you don’t know me that well yet you still care and try to make me smile and I thank you” before he can say anything I grab his face and kiss him. Its not one of those kisses were it was a peck its was one were it was supposed to be a peck but ended up as more than that. I finally pull away feeling proud of myself but also guilty because I’m not even sure if I like him but you know what I already kissed him and I regret nothing. “umm…your welcome??” he says blushing I just giggle and open my front door “bye Luke” he just waves and walks away. Damn I’m good.

I snap out of my happiness trance and back to reality looking at worried faces on the couch, and yes even chalk. 

“where have you been?” my dad asks “yes” I say wanting to get this over with “what” everyone looks confused “ I said yes, ill go with you and your p.w. back to Arizona. I mean I didn’t really have a choice because I’m sure you guys would have pushed me to go anyways so to save you the trouble and breath ill go” and with that I walk upstairs “ good we leave on Friday night” my dad screams. He must be satisfied im doing this to make him happy. I will always be a daddy’s girl as much as I hate him that’ll never change.

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Its finally here, Friday night. I did tell Lindsay about me leaving for a couple months she was actually supportive she said and I quote “ you should do what makes you happy and what you think is right” her being ghandi and shit. But here I am with y suit case saying good bye to my mom, Lindsay and her mother. I didn’t tell the boys nor Luke because number one I’m not that close with them and number 2 it probably wouldn’t matter anyway so I decided not to say anything I mean they could careless what I did with my life but on the up side my birthday is in three days. Lindsay had to leave early because apparently it was the twins birthday I didn’t mind I just  told her to say happy birthday for me. I don’t know how I should feel about leaving honestly im not mad but im not happy about it I guess im just going to go with the flow from now on.

So here I am getting off of a seventeen hour flight , im tired and all I want to do is murder people but I don’t have the energy ughhh I want coffee. I should really stop complaining but at least im not doing it out loud but I haven’t said a word to my dad and his p.w. (portable whore) he tried to make conversation a couple of times but I either ignored him or just simply nodded or shook my head or shrugged because I don’t know what to say to him I don’t know what he expects from me. When we get into the car and he tries to make conversation but he realizes  that id rather not so I put my earphones in and stare out of the window. When we get closer to were I used to live, I recognise the ice cream shop and right next to it was a skate shop that I loved when I was younger and the guy at the counter would always flirt with my mom and give me stickers. I smile at myself and I cant keep my eyes open any longer so I just let the sleep take over.