Beyond The Eyes

Text Messages

  It was another night with my phone in my hand again. I would look down at my phone all throughout the day when we weren't together. The sides of my mouth would curve as I read his name on my phone. The night was filled with tossing and turning and silence. My eyes stayed open with the hope of him texting me or even calling me. I wondered what his voice would sound like through my tiny speakers. I wonder if it would give me the same chill that it did in person. His deep raspy voice used to vibrate through my ears, melting my heart. I saw a light into the darkness. It shadowed my body. I quickly turned, grabbing my phone. A smile arose on my pale face. "Hey Avery," it read. My fingers danced along the screen. "Hey, I had a really good time today." "You did?" Jacob questioned. "Yeah, why?" I asked. "I don't know. I was a little worried. We didn't talk much. It was so nice, but when you got up you didn't even say good-bye." I tried to remember me getting up and leaving. I remember still being annoyed at the comment of him calling me his good friend. So I just left. "I thought you were sleeping," I lied. "It's hard to sleep when I had you in my arms," he replied. I blushed, smiling at the ceiling. "Yikes," I replied. "No, it's not like that. I was just worried if someone came on the bus and did something to you, I wouldn't be there. I'm weird, sorry." Why was he apologizing? "Protective, huh?" I questioned. "Only for the people I care about." He wanted to know more about me; which worried me. It felt like a rock was laid in my stomach. 

Question One: "Have you ever been in love?"
Answer: "Never, but I've dreamt of it."

"You've never been in love? Why not? I bet you have guys falling for you every day," Jacob commented. "That doesn't mean I fall back. I'm picky. Have you ever been in love?" I asked. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I think I have feelings of falling in love with certain girls, but never act on them," he honestly said. "Why not?" "I don't do relationships. They're full of lies and drama. You said you don't do relationships either, why's that?" "Because I haven't found someone worthy of getting into a relationship yet. Only one guy." 

"What ever happened to him," Jacob questioned. He was delusional. "He's confused about what he wants." Jacob started to go on and on about how being with me blocks out his pain. It made me smile and blushing we kind of feel the same "I couldn't help, but notice that you have a lot on your mind when we were on the beach." Jacob mentioned. "How did you notice that?" "You were distracted by something," he stated. "By your eyes," I answered. "My eyes?" "I get lost in them," I admitted. "Are you flirting with me, Avery?" "You can call it whatever you want. I'm just admiring them." "I get lost in yours also. I see happiness and shelter in yours." I didn't want to reply knowing what I saw in his eyes. It was the total opposite. The image of his eyes went through my mind. The brutal waves were rocky and heavy. The sky was grey and humid. I closed and opened my eyes. He was still waiting for my reply. "I feel shelter when I'm in your arms," I typed out. "You're beautiful. You deserve a really good guy."

"Why can't that guy be you?" I sighed. He asked me if I could ditch my friends to hang out with him tomorrow. I finally gave in. Jacob started to ask questions again. 

Question Two: "How's your life at home?"
Answer: "There's nothing to it. My parents are together and yours?"

"Parents are separated, remarried and all that fun stuff. I have younger brother and an older one," he replied. "How do you feel about them getting remarried?" I asked. "Messed me up at the time, but it wasn't my decision I didn't have a say. I have to stop being selfish and let my parents finally be happy." "I admire that. You're a good guy, Jacob," I answered. "This is probably so weird to say, but I want to know you like nobody else has ever known you before. I'm so interested in your life. Not sure why." That scared me a whole lot. "I have trust issues," I stated. "Can I be real with you?" "Yes, of course." I put my head back, putting my phone next to me. He was writing something really long, so I leaned back. Then the silence surrounding me was interrupted by my text tone. I picked up my phone and began to read. It said, "Yesterday wasn't the first time I laid eyes on you. I've seen you a couple times before, but I just had the courage to come up to you. You always sit on the bus, reading, listening to your music. You like to escape from reality. You say there is nothing to you, but you want to escape so badly from the life that you're living, so why? I always wondered why such a beautiful girl like you want to find life in a simple book." I was taken back. "You've seen me before, but I haven't seen you." "Yes, you only noticed because I made an entrance. You're a very beautiful girl, but you seem troubled and confused," he replied. "I've been through some things that made me very closed off," I answered. "I wouldn't tell a soul, Avery." "Why do you want to know so bad? So you can laugh at me or give me sympathy? I don't need it nor do I want it," I pressed sent. I kind of regretted saying it, but I can't take it back. "Avery, I wouldn't." I push people away. That's what I do. I can't change that unless someone really works for it and he hasn't. Yet.