Beyond The Eyes

Text Messages

THE NEXT DAY

It was morning. I was sitting in my backyard with my coffee in my hands and the grass beneath me. It irritated my skin, so I would toss and turn. My knees were up to my chest. A book laid on my thighs. I read the wondrous words that were printed on the pages. I would highlight the memorable ones, keeping them in my thoughts. I found myself into the book, exactly where the main character was. As I read the words, I was somewhere else. Somewhere far. Reality hit me fast as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Sliding my hand down in my pocket, I latched onto my phone. It was Jacob. The text read, "Thank you for coming and staying with me yesterday. She was very happy that you were there." My fingers bounced across the screen. "Why did you want me to hear that story?" I questioned. "Because she loves telling it and I love hearing it. I knew you would like it. You're romantic," he replied. "And are you?" "After hearing the story, it makes me want to be, but I'm not ready for that commitment. It would be a pleasure to have that endless unbearable love, but not right now. I'm too immature," Jacob answered. I rolled my eyes, letting the calm breeze smack back my hair. "Cool." "You okay?" he questioned. "Totally fine," I lied. "Why do you lie every single time I ask that? I know something is up and you just said I'm fine when I know you're not. Sometimes I just think we aren't close enough to talk like that, but things are different."

"How different?"

"You see me differently then my friends. You see me deeper than who I am. Speaking of friends, I want you to meet mine" he replied.

"Your friends? Um..."

"Yeah they would love you. You're cute, sarcastic, and sweet. Although if they flirt with you, there will be a problem."

"And why's that a problem?"

"Because they can't flirt with you."
"Why can't they? I'm single."
"Because they're my friends," he answered.

"Do you have something to tell me?" I hinted.
"I don't want you getting hurt. That's all," he explained. He was lying; he has to be.

"Is that all?
"What are you saying? You're a good girl and some of them don't deserve you."
"What if I like one back?" I questioned. I had a dirty smirk plastered across my face.

"Can we not talk about this?"
"You brought it up."
"I know, it's just I don't know. I'd hate to see you hurt," Jacob reminded me.

"Already am, but it doesn't matter," I admitted.

"Why are you hurt? It matters, stop fucking saying that."
"Why are you cursing?" I asked.
"Because you don't know how worthy you are. You don't understand how much I want to know you so bad and you're not opening up to me because you don't trust me. I trust you since the day we met. It's weird, but at this point I don't care. You're not fine. You're not okay and I want to know why and try my best to help you," he explained.

"Jacob, you can't help me."
"I can if you let me. I want to save you."
"From what?"
"From whatever is killing you inside."
"I think I can only save myself," I answered.
"Beauty, you're not doing the best job, so let me guide you in the right direction."
"How can you do that?"
"By making you feel worthy."
"How will do you do that?"
"By my actions and words." Maybe he had a point. Maybe he can help me. But I think it would be more rewarding if I did it on my own, but he's right. I'm not doing a good job.

"Okay," I answered.
I put my phone back in my pocket, letting my eyes absorb the words in front of me. I felt like crying after the conversation I had with him. It's reminding me of all the pain I suffered. Maybe it's good if I let it all out. I just hope he's the right one. And if he's not, well I'm not sure.

"You're beautiful and you know that already. I just got into huge trouble because I tried to sneak out so I'm getting my phone taken away. Meet me in three days at 7, see you then," was the last message that I read.