Beyond The Eyes

Destroy Me

Change? I'm not quite sure what that means. What is he going to do? Kiss the pain away? I wish. I started to doze off, dreaming of his lips laid on top of mine. His eyes closed, lips moving against mine. I wanted to aggressively smash my lips against his, but this wasn't the time or place. This was a funeral. I climbed out of the car, wind hitting me in the face. The rain was becoming mild now, but I was freezing. I didn't want to be one of those girls to beg for his jacket, but I was shivering. I wondered if he noticed. If he did, would he? My feet felt awkward as I transferred from the concrete to grass in seconds. Thank God I wore flats. Jacob was oddly close to me. I'm not complaining, but it was as if he was trying to hold my hand. Please do. He didn't. The whole field was empty; which was upsetting him. Understandable. I decided to grab his cold, shivering hand, letting warmth go through both of our bodies. The spark of lightning exploded in my veins. My cravings and desires became consuming. My eyes scanned his body and sensual thoughts ran through my mind. We are at a funeral. Stop. I'm trying. I let go of his hand, letting it hand insecurely and lonely by my side. His eyes screamed disappointment from me separating our hands. I didn't care. If I kept thinking about ripping off his clothes, running my tongue and mouth down his bare skin... Funeral. Right. I'm at a funeral. There was nobody here though, which confused me. "Where is she?" I questioned. There was no hole beneath the ground. The ground ahead of me was just dirt. "Right here," he answered. He was talking about the dirt patch ahead of us. "She's already buried," I stated. "I know. They did it yesterday. I couldn't bear to go though. It was too difficult," Jacob said. I nodded, looking at the dirt. It scared me knowing someone was underneath us. I moved back, shaking from the fact. Jacob stood ahead of me, staring down. Jacob laid the beautiful white roses on the ground. He turned around, walking back. I watched him sit on a bench. Following him, I sat down close to him. His eyes stared in front of his. It was as if he was frozen. I would be too. The image in his eyes was still death. But it was a different kind of scene. The picture didn't have darkness, no moon, and no violent storm. It was underwater. All I saw was bubbles of air flowing up to the surface. I quickly moved away, trying my best to erase the image from my not-so innocent eyes. It didn't work. The graveyard looked so familiar to me, but I couldn't figure out where it was from. "I want to go home," he said, voice shaky and heavy on my ears. I got up, waiting for him to. He followed me to the car, quickly leaving. My hand grabbed the car handle, pulling the door open. I slid in as he did the same. His muscular hands gripped onto the steering wheel. 

I wish that were my neck as you thrust into me. 

I wanted him to love me in any way possible. 

Love me as you hold me in your arms, brushing my hair with your fingertips or love me as my thighs are dripping and shaking as your tongue explores my wetness and devours me. 

These thoughts were going to be the death of me. My eyes were glued out the window, but through the trees and the tiny raindrops running down clear glass, I was imagining him. I needed to stop. I never thought of him this way, but seeing him in a suit made my mouth water. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cold window. The dream started to fade into my mind. 

Pushing me down on the bed, grabbing my jawline until our lips are aching against one another. His mouth tasted so delicious against mine. My tongue ran down his taste buds. He flinched back, letting his hands explore my body. His lips moved down to my neck, pressing down. My mouth watered with the hot moans from his touch. Our eyes met. His dark dangerous eyes screamed lust and desire, as he tasted my bare skin. My eyes did the same, but louder because my mouth was lonely without his touch. He lifted up his head, staring into my eyes. "Are you okay?" he questioned. 

My eyes flashed open. The dream was quickly ripped out of my hands, leaving me wet and exhausted. I noticed we were stopped... in front of my house "Are you?" Jacob repeated. My eyes moved to his. The lust and desire in his from the dream vanished. "Yeah, I'm sorry," I apologize. He pressed his hand on my thigh lightly, but enough to make me shiver. I bit down on my jawline, resisting the craving. "Next weekend, you, me, and my friends. Sounds good?" he asked. A smile was plastered along his soft skin. I missed it. I nodded. He winked. I was soaked. I jumped out of the car, slamming the car door shut. I felt bad because I didn't even say good-bye, but I couldn't handle the temptation anymore. What was going on with me? I hated sex because of my past.

But with him... I wanted him to destroy me.