Depression And Hate Poems

Chapter 5...Sweet Agony

What do you see when you look in my eyes?

A freak? A nameless being?

Or maybe simply another face in the endless sea of people

What do I see when I look at myself in the mirror?

I see pain, laughter, tears, smiles, fatigue, and endless energy.

What do I do

When the world I live in

Doesn't know I am suffering?

I feel the scars

On my heart

My arms

My wrists

And I think back to a time when I was truly alone

Wondering the streets at night

The sky dark and stormy,

With the cold rain falling down on me

It was like the sky was crying

All the tears I was too afraid to shed myself

That was along time ago,

but still I can feel the sharpness of the blades upon my soul

My skin

My heart

Sometimes at night I sit up

Stare at my window

And cry, for all the pain I still sometimes feel.

I wonder if life is meant to be more then this,

This town

These people

These feelings

I am like a caged animal,

Trapped inside bars

Locked in, with no hope to escape

I scream

Yell

Cry

But no one hears me

I stand alone

On my own little path of life

That I have been on for as long as I can remember

With a broken heart

A broken soul

A broken mind

Still I struggle on

So that I can maybe see beyond this world

Of darkness and despair,

So I can see the world beyond,

Of love and life and happiness

So here I stand,

A smile on my face,

Even though I am being torn apart on the inside.

I will continue to smile,

And feel

And love

And I will survive; survive to tomorrow

So I can learn to trust again

And this sweet agony

That has been with me all my life

Will be dispersed

Become nonexistent

Gone

No more.

And I will finally

Be

Alive.