Give Your Heart A Break

Chapter Six

The rest of the week went by in a blur. I had liked all my classes, especially my song writing class as Ed was going to be our mentor. I kept to myself in all my classes and didn't bother to try and make friends, and managed to avoid Harry. 

Today was particularly a crappy day. Today was my sister's birthday. I flopped down on my bed in my dorm as soon as I finished my last class for the week. I grabbed my phone out of my jeans reading through all the sympathetic messages people had sent me. Then I opened my mum's message.

Thinking about you today sweetie. We wish we could be with you. Hoping your classes are going great. Melissa would be so very proud of you. xxx

I threw my phone on my bed and closed my eyes, feeling tears escape down the side of my face. Will this ever get easier?

I heard Keira's voice outside the door saying goodbye to someone. I quickly wiped away my tears and sat up. Keira doesn't know about Mel. I didn't want to tell her, I didn't want the sympathy. I didn't want someone to hug me and tell me they are sorry when they didn't even know my sister.

She bounced through the door with a smile plastered on her face.

"HEEEY! Finally our first week is over! I think this calls for a celebration. A couple of people told me about this party some guy in the program is throwing. Wanna go?" she exclaimed excitedly.

A party? That's last place I wanted to be. I declined her offer gracefully and told her I had some other plans.

I walked over to my bag and grabbed it before muttering a good bye to Keira and walked out of the dorm. I reached the big front doors of the academy and walked out. I started walking unsure of where I exactly was going. It was starting to get dark and I needed to think of a place to go as I didn't want to be walking the streets all night in the dark. I stopped walking and lightly kicked at the pavement with my converse looking around at my surroundings when my eye caught the pub across the street. There were a few people out the front laughing and talking loudly obviously letting a bit loose after a long week at work and I instantly wanted to the same. I needed a drink to forget about how crappy my life had become in just a short amount of time. Pub it is I thought to myself before making my way across the road.

HARRY P.O.V

I was both glad and a bit upset the first week was over here. I could think of a lot of more fun things to do then to do this mentoring crap, but I was also thankful for it as it took my mind off my current messed up life. Truth be told I was forced into doing this mentoring gig. My family, the boys and management thought it would be a good thing to 'fix' me. I will admit this whole famous thing did get to me. At the start it was exciting, going to award shows and meeting people I only ever used to hear on the radio or watch on my television set, but after a while I realised the down side of being famous. I lost all my privacy, I couldn't even go to Starbucks without being hounded by paps. I couldn't even turn on the tv without hearing ridiculous rumours about myself. Every move I made was scrutinised. It felt like I was thrown into a den of lions waiting for me to move so they could attack. Sure I loved all my fans, truth be told they are the only reason I keep going but the hate was something I couldn't handle. I would go onto twitter and see all of these comments telling me how much they loved me and I wouldn't think anything of it. But i could have one hate message out of thousands of nice messages and I would crumble.

It was then I discovered alcohol. It was both my best friend and my enemy. It would make me numb. It would help me drown away all my thoughts and that comforted me. But at the same time it distanced me from the people who genuinely cared about me. Finally they had enough of all the partying and drunken nights out and sent me away. The rule was that I cleaned myself up before I could even think about discussing coming back. That was what the mentoring gig was for.

I decided I would go out tonight, not to drink but just so I didn't need to stay in my lonely flat feeling sorry for myself. I decided to stay local and just went to the local pub where I was friends with the bartender. I needed a friend right now, considering all of mine have abandoned me.

PAYTON P.O.V

I shifted in my seat at the bar staring at the empty shot glasses in front of me. Before grabbing the bartenders attention and asking for another 5. He just nodded and looked at me with worried eyes.

"Are you okay love? Are you sure you want more?" He asked with raised eyebrows obviously noticing my already drunken state. I just nodded turning my head down to the table. As he placed the shots in front of me.

It was a stupid idea to come here. Getting drunk didn't help. If anything it made things worse. I was alone in a bar drunk and mourning. 

The message my mum sent me finally broke me. It literally felt like a thousand icy daggers had been pierced into my heart and I had no way of pulling them out. The more that I drank the deeper the daggers would sink, but i couldn't help myself. With every shot a wall I built up would crumble down.

I looked at my 5 shots and downed them as quick as possible. I need to leave here before I get worse. I smiled at the bartender and slapped some money on the bar telling him to keep the change. I stood up from my stool, all i could see was blurred images and the loud music was suddenly suffocating. I held onto the bar suddenly unsure of my balance. God I was so drunk. After I thought I regained my balance I started to walk. I couldn't see straight and I wasn't sure if it was because of the tears covering my eyes or my drunken state. I walked through the dance food trying to head to exit without falling over. A stupid trashy looking girl was dancing flinging her arms around everywhere when her hand caught on my necklace by accident ripping it from my neck. I watched as the locket broke free from my neck and fell to the floor. It all became to much. I crumbled to floor not sure if it was from the alcohol or from the grief. The one precious thing I had of my sister's was now broken on the floor. I sighed and leaned back my eyes fluttering trying to stay open holding my necklace tight in the palm of my hands before my eyes finally gave up.

It wasn't long until I felt two big hands snake around my body lifting me up bridal style. Then I felt this mystery person walking and soon I felt the London cold air hit my face causing goosebumps to cover my arms. I heard a car door open before they placed me gently down on the seat buckling my seat belt. I knew this was wrong, someone literally just kidnapped me. But I was beyond exhausted, I couldn't even lift my eyelids open, they were too heavy and felt glued shut. And to be honest I didn't care what would happen to me. I was so done with this life. I was done trying to be strong. I was done putting on a brave face everyday. I was done waking up in the middle of the night from my nightmares. I was done trying my hardest to get through each day and at the moment being taken from the bar by a possible murderer didn't sound like a bad option.