Give Your Heart A Break

Chapter Twenty Four

Okay, you have every right to hate me. But let me explain....

So as I said I was taking a break due to school, during that time I had been writing chapters when I had free time. And about a month ago my mother accidently deleted them off my computer due to her technology disability, like seriously she only just got the hang of using the mouse pad. THEN I got myself a new job, I am now like queen of the bar, so yes basically I pour peoples drinks for a living and get to hang around alot of drunks, trust me its more fun then it sounds. But this new job has taken over my life! Most nights I finish at 3am :(. Also on top of all that Im in the works of starting my own graphic design studio, so when Im not working Im sorting out businessy stuff ( I know what you are thinking, how does one start her own business if she calls it businessy stuff). Anyhow, there is no real excuse, I have felt terrible and I'll never leave you again!!!! Here is a quick little chapter (im still rushing to re write chapters I have already written) so bear with me! LOTS OF LOVEEE!

~ Breanna-Lee xx

HARRY P.O.V

I decided to walk back from the academy to my flat. I needed both the fresh air and time to sort through my head. I know two things now, Payton forgave me, but she was still not with me. So at this present moment I was conflicted whether I should be happy or sad. I was also confused, was she going back to Australia? I assumed she was when she grabbed her things, but if that was the case did that mean we were over? Rubbed my hands over my face and sighed. Nothing made sense anymore, these last few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I was beyond happy, the next I was completely miserable and now I don't know whether to be either. She was so god damn complicated that girl. Although I knew she was a complicated, damaged soul when I first started to fall for her, I knew this would of been part of the deal being with her, but that didn't make anything any easier. It didn't stop the shock of her leaving me, even though I knew it would probably happen. Its her defence mechanism to run, yet when she finally did I still sat in my flat in complete utter shock. It is a strange comparison, but it was similar to the feeling of someone you know dying. We all know death is a apart of life, and eventually all of us will end up six feet under. But it is always a shock when it happens to someone we know. It is similar to the feeling when you think there is another stair. Your foot falls through the air and your stomach sickly drops as you try and readjust the way you thought of things. That is the exact feeling I felt when she left, and I guess you could say that when someone you cherish leaves their life with you is almost like the feeling of losing them to death. It is a bad comparison but it is the only one I can come up with that remotely relates to the feeling. And now my stomach has that horrible empty feeling you get when you miss someone, and I already know deep down that feeling won't disappear until I have her back again.

PAYTON P.O.V

I took the walk back from the diner and actual felt okay, happy even. The cold wind making its way through my knit jumper didn't even effect me, the grey sky didn't for once reflect my mood, and the walk back to the motel didn't feel so lonely even though I was in fact alone in my walk. All I knew was that in that brief time during breakfast, I had accepted my situation I was in, and although I still felt despair over it, it didn't have the all consuming pain come over my body as it usually did. It was what it was, and I knew instead of sulking and feel sorry for myself I needed to pick myself off the ground and move on. But deep down I knew it was easier said then done. Deep down I knew I still wasn't completely whole and probably never would be. But I would try, that is more than I have ever done before.

I decided, considering I had nothing else to do, to go looking for a car. I pulled out my phone and googled the nearest used car dealership. It told me there was one a few blocks away, so I started the walk.

I finally stood in front of a sign reading 'BILLY BOB'S USED CARS. The one stop shop for all your car's needs!" The place looked somewhat shabby but I really needed a car, so I walked in. I was met by a chubby middle-aged man, who I assumed was Billy, he looked like Billy.

"Hey little lady, what can I help you with today?." he said wiping his greasy hands across his large belly and extending his hand out for me to shake. I looked down at his hand which still contained grease and crumbs from his previous meal and tried to hide my look of disgust returning his handshake.

"I need a car urgent, but for a reasonable price. Im on a bit of a budget."  And with a slight nod he lead me through the car lot.

***

I ended up driving out in my new, well not so new, black hatchback corolla and felt some weight lift off my shoulders. Yes I was broke now, but at least I had transport. All that is left to do now is find a job to run the god damn thing. I ran my hand through my hair letting out a huff of frustration. But instead of going out job searching I drove the car back to motel hoping Lucas and Charlie would be back.

Much to my disappointed no one answered my knock so I made my way back to my room and picked up my guitar and started to to mindlessly strum away. God knows how long I played, all I knew was the sun was starting to go down and I really couldn't feel my butt or legs because I had been sitting in the same position for so long. I put my guitar down and stood up to stretch when I heard a knock up the door. Probably Lucas I thought as I walked over to the door. But instead of blue eyes I was met with a familiar green.

"Harry?"