it hurts. // n.h.

22- Death

You know how they say before you die your life flashes before your eyes? How every memory you've ever kept from your shitty life is supposed to somehow appear in your mind before death finally takes you over. That's the thing I always looked forward to seeing before I died. I always wanted to see how far I've come in life. Try to see how much of my time I spent actually doing something that made me happy. But that's the thing, I didn't do anything to make me happy. I was always doing things for other people. It may seem a little selfish for me to want to just to do things for myself but there's this certain point where you just have to stop trying to impress people and do things for yourself.

Anyways, that whole flash back thing? It happened. I don't know if I've ever been so scared yet peaceful in my life.

"Emelia, you need to come and get you're clothes from the laundry." My mom said as she stood in the doorway. I was currently sitting on my bed in my bedroom with my brand new guitar they got me for my birthday a couple days before.

"But mom I want to play!" I whined while giving her the puppy dog face. She smiled a bit and sat next to me on my bed while I smiled up at her as well.

"Play me something." I looked down at the guitar and put my tiny fingers on my guitar and began playing a sweet song I came up with. Mom was quiet as I played and she looked down at me after I finished.

"That's beautiful. Just beautiful m& m." She told me. Somehow my smile got a tad larger and I put my guitar on its stand next to my bed.

"You're going to be huge baby. Your name will be on top charts everywhere. Your going to have tons of fans and everyone will love you." She said and pulled me to her side as I sat back down. I gave her a confused look and looked down at the floor.

"How do you know?" I asked. She just smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

"Because I love you." She spoke.

That memory I held dear to me. Even though there's a lot of shitty things that happened me and my life was just a complete straight rollercoaster of mess, that was the one small bump in the track that gave you some sort of thrill. That was the one memory that I knew my mom was telling me the truth.

But little did she know a couple years form then that little 7 year old girl was going to fall in love with photography. Yes I still loved playing but there was something about photography I couldn't explain. I loved it with a passion.

"Happy birthday baby." My mom spoke as my dad set the cake in front of me. Tanner, Kyler, and Dustin were sitting next to me and Harry was sitting on the opposite side of the table as me. Gemma and Aunt Ann were standing next to mom and dad. This was one of my favorite birthdays. I had my whole family. My brothers and cousins. My aunt and parents.

I quickly thought of a wish and blew out my candles. Shortly after that a had a few presents stacked mesode me at the table. Mom handed me one and I wasted no time ripping into the paper. I couldn't believe what I saw.

"A camera?! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" I shouted whole I ran to go and give my mom and dad a hug. They smiled and returned the hug.

"Now go and use it m&m." My dad said smiling at me. I nodded and ran outside taking as many pictures as I could.

Those aren't the only memories that occurred but they were the only good ones. I chose to try and neglect the following memories but sadly I couldn't.

I walked into my parents bedroom to see my mom sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed crying. I slowly made my way over to her and say next to her with my legs criss-crossed. I looked up at her and she wiped away a few tears before looking at me.