it hurts. // n.h.

23- The Hospital

I have let a lot of shitty people into my life. I've always wondered if I could ever meet a man who wouldn't treat me like shit. First my dad, then Jesse, and now Niall's dad. I knew Niall was nothing like his dad but I've seen the way he snaps. He can go from a happy jolly Irish boy to someone I've never seen before in less than 5 seconds.

To be honest, I was scared. I thought I would never find anyone that would take care of me. I thought all men were assholes. That was until I met Niall.

Niall's different. He's sweet, kind, charming, and has a great personality. He is the only man that's been there for me this long without going complete mad. Yes there was that small incident at the racetrack but that was nothing close to him going mad.

I let my eyes skim around the room to finally train themselves to look at my IV dripping.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I let my gaze turn to the ceiling as I try to make out different shapes or animals but fail as all I see are squiggly lines.

My eyes then pass over to the chairs sitting beside me and I see a handsome blonde Irishman. He stayed here this whole time just to make sure I was okay. I know he wouldn't leave my side. He never has. How did I get so lucky that I have fallen in love with my best friend and it's amazing how hard and fast you can fall when you find the right one. It's like there's something you know your missing but you chose to ignore it and then once you meet them, your whole world changes in a flash. You just know they're the one.

Niall's snores got quieter and quieter and slowly his eyes shifted open, closing a bit to get used to the extreme amounts of light being excepted into his pupils.

His eyelids shot open, revealing those crystal blue eyes I've come to know all these years. His arms out stretched a little bit, allowing him to wake up a bit more.

In mid stretch he tucked his neck to his chest, revealing an adorable double chin and he spoke up. "Mornin' beautiful." He had his eyes shut and was stretching a bit before he turned his gaze to me once more. I smiled over at him and gave a simple response back.

"Mornin'"

"Are you okay? You looked really rough Em. I didn't think you'd wake up this early. They said you'd be in a coma but somehow you woke up.." He paused a little bit and then put his elbow on his knee and his chin in his palm. He the shifted his gaze to the floor and I could see he was guilt tripping himself.

"This is all my damn fault. I knew he'd come back for me. I thought I'd be gone into bootcamp by the time he tried to get me back but I didn't consider the fact that he might harm you or Harry. I'm so fucking sorry Em. My one job was to protect you and I couldn't do it, I'm so sorry." I could see a tear slide down his already red cheek. I felt a bit sorry for him. He didn't do anything wrong. If it weren't for him I would probably still be in that bedroom laying there cold and dead.

"Stop."I said sternly he looked up at me and I could hear him sniff a bit.

"What?" He asked. I sat up as far as I could in my bed and looked at Niall.

"This isn't your fault. It still would have happened one way or another. You couldn't have done anything to change it. I'm just glad you got there when you did." I paused a bit and looked up at the ceiling. "I had a near death experience." I whispered. Niall's eyes went a little wide and I could see his shadow walk over right beside me.

"Did you see it?" He asked referring to the light. I shook my head.

"Niall I didn't die though. You don't see the light unless you're really dead. But, if that is what death is like, I don't want to go through it again. It's cold and dark. I felt so lonely and I wanted to cry. I hated it. But I did see something," I told him. I could tell he was listening so I continued. "My life flashed. Just like they say in the movies. But the thing is, they aren't all good memories. There are bad ones too but I guess your memories are all important or else you wouldn't remember them right?" I asked. Niall nodded.

"Your mind is better than any machine out there. If you forget something, it wasn't worth remembering." He spoke. His voice was barely audible but I could still hear him.

I smiled up at him and repeated those words through my head a couple times.

Your mind is better than any machine out there. If you forget something, it wasn't worth remembering

If you forget something, it wasn't worth remembering.

If you forget something, it wasn't worth remembering

"That's true." I said. Niall walked over to the end table and checked his phone. Suddenly his eyes went wide and he cursed under his breath.

Before I knew it Niall was rushing around the room grabbing things and heading towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going?!" I asked. He looked over to me very seriously and then spoke quietly.

"They found him. They found my dad." And without another word he was out of my hospital room leaving me to the sound of the dripping IV and buzzing TV to keep me company.