Restless Whispers

Casualties

The next morning, I called into work. I couldn't even move from the position I was in. I couldn't face anyone after knowing what a monster I was. I just told Roux that I caught a cold from the rain last night. Whether he believed me or not, I didn't care. I knew he would understand, especially after Claudia's murder, no one really wanted to be in that building. I couldn't bare to eat, everything made me sick to my stomach.

How is it that I am able to do the things I have done? How long had this been going on? How many had I killed? I swallowed hard on the last question. I was capable of taking other's lives and I hadn't even known. Who had I killed? We're they good or bad people? Did I take someone's father or mother from them? I ran my hands through my hair roughly staring at the phone that was still on my coffee table. It rang throughout some of the night, which only led me to believe that whoever was on that other end of the phone wasn't a very happy person. However, it ended up stopping and when it did, I could only think that they must have thought their man was compromised.

Which only meant that they would think it was gang related and they wouldn't report a missing person. In fact they'd act like they never knew the guy. That's how New York worked. It was also a good thing he was a part of a gang because that only made things look better for me, less likely to get pinned for the murder. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, feeling like the weight was lifting off my shoulders, gradually. No one needed to find out. It was only me and the three men who were now dead.

And dead men tell no tales.

A light knock echoed the entire condo around me which only made me jump and shriek a bit. Casually I stood up, staring at the door hoping S.W.A.T. didn't come busting down the door. Taking my time, I tiptoed to the door and looked out the peephole to see it covered. My heart began to pound against my chest feeling like I shouldn't open the door. I didn't know who it could be. What if it was the gangs and they somehow found out that I was the one who killed their men? My breathing picked up rapidly as another soft knock tapped on the other side of the door. I waited a moment before finally swallowing hard and getting the courage to open the door, feeling that I was just being paranoid now. Unlocking the top lock and then the bottom I crept the door open.

"Jake?" My eyes widened, shocked to see him in front of me at my condo. Was he here on business? Did he find something else out?

"Hey." He grinned handsomely my heart quickened in a different way this time. I no longer felt worry about my life, other than the fact that a detective was in front of me. I should have been worried he was here to take me in and arrest me, but judging from his smile I knew he was here to see me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him casually leaning up against the doorway our eyes meeting. He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck with his smile that made me weak in the knees.

"Honestly, I don't know. I was going to make up this excuse as to what was going on in the case and as I kept going over and over in my head it was like 'well why wouldn't I call her to tell her those things' so before I knew it I had already knocked. Covering the peephole wasn't a good idea either." I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he was acting. This detective really came here to just see me, personally.

"I like this better." I finally told him, a giant smile on my face. He returned it, his shoulders relaxing. "Did you want to come in?" I opened the door wider. He nodded and walked into the condo looking around which I figured was a normal thing for him to do when entering someone else's house.

"So, what are you doing over here really?" I finally asked him as I walked over to the couch and sat back down on it. He sat on the recliner, not looking me in the eye. I wasn't positive, but it looked as though he may have been blushing. His eyes suddenly met mine and I could feel my own cheeks burn red.

"I came to see you. Ever since that first night I seen you at the fashion show, I have been wanting to ask you out on a date." I blushed a bit more, smiling to myself.

"W-well you could have done that over the phone too." I told him casually and he chuckled as a response.

"I know, but call me old fashioned. I wanted to see you in person and ask you properly that way." He told me with a shrug. "I went to where you work first and I was told you were sick so that's also why I came here." Jake looked me over and quirked a brow.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You don't look sick." He chuckled and I blushed rolling my eyes.

"I'm not, I just had a long night and then with the murder, I felt like I couldn't last through today." I bit my lip. "Don't snitch on me, please?" He drew an 'X' over his heart.

"Cross my heart." He told me softly, his smile bigger than ever.

"I can't believe you have never had Vietnamese Pho." I laughed looking at Jake who was trying to use the chopsticks and slurp down the noodles attached to them. He chuckled biting them off and wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"I feel goofy when I eat this." He beamed as he watched me eat it too, struggling to get the noodles off the chopsticks as broth dripped down my chin. Quickly I wiped my mouth and laughed. "Yeah, I can see why, I mean you kind of do." I grinned as he laughed a little more going in for another serving.

"I guess I'm a true New Yorker now, huh?" His eyes looked up from his dish as our eyes met. I could feel my cheeks turning rosy red and I looked down at my own bowl.

"I believe so. Well, let's see, have you had New York style pizza?" I asked him. His face distorted before he nodded. "I would have to be the absolute worse New Yorker if I hadn't! And tourist at that!" I couldn't help but laugh because it was true.

"Well, then we can check that off your list, huh?" I smirked as I went back to eating.

Jake had moved here from Portland, Maine about a year ago. He had went to the academy in Boston, Massachusetts to become a police officer. After sometime as a rookie and on the force in his home town, he was promoted to Detective in New York city. He told them that they have a lot of cops down here, but a lot of them are from New York and easy sold and bribed because they're family is here. The new idea was to get new guys from out of the state so that they didn't have family. Jake mentioned that it was also a good thing his sister wasn't even in the states and that his only parent has dementia and is in an assisted living home. I felt kind of bad for him not having anyone out here, especially going on a year now.

"So what's you're favorite part about New York so far?" I asked him as we sat there. At first he was quiet and then he turned, looking at me with a smile. "Well, it was Central park, but now I think it's this." His toothy grin only made me share one of my own before I looked down and tucked some hair behind my ear. I could tell he was still watching me. When I went for the check, he swatted my hand away and took it sliding his card inside, not even looking at how much.

"Isn't there some sort of policy about dating people involved with a case?" I couldn't help but tease. He shrugged, his smile still intact, dimples chiseled perfectly into his smile only making my heart beat a little faster.

"Yeah but you're not the victim, and seeing as the victim is dead..." He shrugged. "Besides, we already have a suspect, that guy you mentioned she went off with? Yeah he doesn't have an alibi." Jake told me as he thanked the waitress when she took the check and card.

"So basically I'm not going to be interrogated by you?" I quirked a brow giving him a sexy pout and nearly busted out laughing when his jaw dropped and he didn't even know how to respond.

"In due time." He smirked devilishly, this time my jaw dropped and I looked at him slightly shocked and then we both bursted into laughter. It was hard to regain composure when the waitress came back with his receipt and card. Looking at us like we lost our minds, he signed and left the tip quickly before standing up.

"Thanks for buying." I told him as we walked out, the breeze biting at our skin. Stuffing his hands in his pocket he looked at me trying to smile through the cold.

"It's not a problem. I hope I can buy you more meals in the future." He looked down at me with a soft smile that I couldn't help but return "ones that will feel more like a date though" he continued. I nodded slowly as butterflies flew through my stomach my smile growing bigger..

"I think I would love that."