A Life's Worth

Becoming One with Darkness

"We will now continue the Joining," Duncan said in a dark voice. In the middle of Alistair and Duncan, stood Eloriel, shaking as she wiped blood off her skirt. On either side of her laid two bodies she had just begun to know. Daveth was on her right, lying still and quiet as if he were sleeping. On the left was the bloodied, slumped up mess of ser Jory, his sword still drawn. They had both died within a minute of each other. And neither Duncan nor Alistair felt the way Eloriel did. She felt wretched inside.

"Eloriel, it is now your turn," Duncan said gravelly, holding the wicked cup to her. That cup was the reason for Daveth's and ser Jory's death. What was in it had driven them to their deaths.

And what if it leads to mine? Will I be happy? Reunited with Tamlen and all who I lost? Or will they refuse to see me in the Fade?

Will the Creators judge me as a murderer of what I have done?

Will I die today?

"You killed ser Jory," Eloriel reminded the shameless elder Warden with a hoarse voice.

"I had no choice. He would've told people what happens during the Joining."

"You did! Ser Jory was an honorable man, if a bit cowardly. Do you have no trust in others?"

"You did not trust me in the beginning, did you not?" Duncan questioned.

"I didn't but...but I didn't know you!"

"And we didn't know ser Jory," Alistair added in with a solemn look.

"How about his wife? What will you tell her? That her husband died not seeing his unborn child's face? And what will she tell child that she is heavy with? That he died for them? That he didn't want to risk it all so the Grey Wardens had to cut him down? And all because you thought that he wouldn't keep a secret, even if his life depended on it?"

"Eloriel, I am sorry but we really did not have a choice."

"Oh, and now you're trying to blame Alistair by including him." Eloriel shook her head and reached for the cup. "You know what? I don't give a damn if I live or die. Unlike ser Jory, I have nowhere else left to turn." And with that she drank from the cup, the thick blood of natural born killers running down her chin and onto the stone floor.

There was a thud of metal hitting the floor. Eloriel's senses where suddenly cut off as if by a dagger. She could see. Nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing. She didn't even know where she was anymore. Her memory became foggy as she desperately searched for something, anything. She had lost all control.

Am I dead?

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The first thing Eloriel regained was her hearing. First the sound was soft, like a light shower of rain, it then grew and grew until it reached a high squeaking noise that nearby destroyed what she just received until it settled into a deep rumbling sound. Next was the sense of feeling. This, unlike her hearing, was sudden and unchanging, the instant boiling temperature made her skin burn and feel as if it were being melted off. At this, she screamed, thrashing about.

The last thing to come back to her was her vision. This one horrified her the most, so much she wanted it to just go away again. She realized that she was glowing, that the heat was from the light. She wanted the glowing to stop, she thought that if it went away, the pain would soon follow, as well as the ringing sound of a volcano to go silent.

Eloriel sighed in relief as the light begin to dim, but then suddenly shrieked as her senses heightened. Now the rumble turned into a fierce wail and the heat began to blister her further. The dimmer she had become, the more pain shot through her. And, once again, her vision, what she saw, terrified her the most.

She had seen a shadow of a beast like no other. Wings like bats, a head resembling one of a reptiles and the teeth sharper and fuller than any other. The shadowed wings beat to the sound of her heartbeat and as it's large mouth opened, a horrid sound came crashing to her ears, making her cringe in pain.

This was the shadow of a dragon.

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"Duncan!" an overwhelmed voiced rang in Eloriel's head as she let out a moan. "Duncan, come here! We have a survivor!"

A survivor? I made it? I passed the Joining? Well, shit.

Eloriel felt herself get picked up by two strong arms and set her on a stone bench. Eloriel heard the man mumble something to her, but she could barely comprehend what it was he was telling her to do. She was more concerned with what had happened to her. Why did she have a nightmare like that? Why was there a dragon? What was with the glowing and the hearing and vision loss? How did she get it back?

Why am I alive?

It shouldn't have been me.

It shouldn't.

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"Why didn't you come with us to the king's meeting, Alistair?" Eloriel asked the Warden beside her as Duncan made his way to them.

"I am not...very fond of the king. Nor him to I," he admitted with a sigh.

"Oh?"

"Can you forgive Duncan?" he suddenly asked her.

"Pardon?" Eloriel said, unsure how it connected to the king.

"For the ser Jory accident, I mean."

"Ser Jory?" Eloriel repeated.

"You don't remember?"

"No. I don't know what your talking about."

"Like, really, really don't remember? Like completely, really don't remember? Like-"

Eloriel sighed, face-palming herself. "I'm trying to forget, Alistair! You really aren't helping!"

"So you forgive him?"

"For what?"

"Oh, I see where this is going. Very clever, Eloriel."

"It's--never mind," she smiled at the human's lack of manners. Then again, she never told him.

Alistair smiled at her smile. He already knew it would be hard to see it. He also knew that she smiled a lot. Obviously she didn't take kindly to humans or strangers.

"Maker, you two," Duncan said, getting their attention. "I've been talking this whole time and you two are just constantly whispering. Did you even hear what I said?" Alistair looked up at Duncan, rubbing his neck. Eloriel already figured out that this meant that he was guilty.

"Sorry Duncan, I-"

"Go with Alistair to the tower, light the beacon, and then if we're lucky join the battle," Eloriel answered, giving Alistair a smirk.

"Very good, Eloriel," Duncan said with an approving nod.

"It's-never mind."

Creators, why are they so informal with me? Should I just tell them my last name? I'm not their friend.

Alistair looked at Eloriel with a gaping mouth. "How...?"

"I pay attention when needed," she simply put as she adjusted her quiver. "Now let's go light a beacon, shall we?"