Hardest of Hearts (VA fanfic) [Adopted from Fanfiction's Dareia]

TALK

RPOV
After the twins abruptly left, our dinner visit fizzled out. I might not agree with their- *cough* Sonja's *cough*- behaviour and was, I'll admit, slightly embarrassed. That's shocked and pissed teens for you. But I did feel pride in them not taking shit from anyone and Niko once again standing up for his sister- and even me despite me being the cause of their shock and anger.

I quickly excused myself and bolted after them. They had too many genetic advantages and outran me. I knew home was always the first place to check, and this time was no different and I threw the door open.
"Niko! Sonja!"

I went straight to the left hallway, bound for Sonja's room. I was beginning to wonder if it would have been better if I had just told the twins who their father was. Possibly would've saved me from all this drama. Sonja wasn't there. After a quick check of Niko's room- where he wasn't- I checked the next place they went to talk out or reflect on what had upset them. The loft. I found its door locked.

"Niko!" I pounded on the door. "Just open the door! Please?" I pounded harder. Still no response. A fire ran through my veins, it swirled and flared and killed and reignited my hope for some much needed mercy from the two most important people in my life. My children. "We need to talk about it."

Nothing. Nothing but a small shuffling that alerted me to the fact they were safe and alive, even if they were so furious they refused to speak to the woman who safely brought them into this often-all-too-harsh world. To top it off, she was coming closer, with her bringing yet another and an entirely different tornado of emotions, opinions, and reactions. Lissa. A state of emergency would have to be called because there was no way this house could survive the combination and clash of three category five tornados of confusing emotions. One of those tornados being mine. Today, I was apparently a magnet for these awkward and potentially life changing conversations. They swarmed me just as moths gathered around and pressured a flame.

Frustrated and exhausted, I went to the kitchen, I don't know what I intended to get, but Hurricane Lissa came storming through my front door before I could decide.
"Rose!" she screamed.
"Kitchen." The house wasn't much bigger than the cabin that started this whole mess, so she didn't really need to yell. She'd find me just as quickly if she hadn't yelled.
Not that I couldn't already feel it through the bond, but her face gave away her fury and confusion. Sweet, innocent, Blind Lissa. It was close to impossible to get her this worked up when the darkness wasn't adding to her instability. Time to face the music...
"Care to explain what that was all about? Adrian's refusing to speak. Christian's acting like his puppy was killed. Tasha's just lost and shocked. And as for Dimitri... I don't even know, he's a mix of angry, wounded, and desperate. I swear, if you don't-" She was a mess of nerves, confusion, and anger. Sonja and Niko had embarrassed her, apparently and she was disappointed in them... and me.
"Lissa: Breathe! Let's sit and I'll tell you everything."

I should've told her earlier, but I had the twins to protect... and Dimitri, even though he'd hurt me so badly- I would never let him be fired, let alone jailed. He was the father of the only two pure dhampirs in history. And still owned my heart, I reluctantly had to admit to myself. The thought came unbidden and unwelcome.

She sat at the kitchen/dining room table, despite being on the verge of a complete breakdown. I put the kettle on and joined her. Hope swam in me; hope that she wouldn't be mad at me, that she'd try to be understanding, that I wasn't getting my hopes up.
"Tell me," she demanded.
"ThetwinsareBelikovs," I rushed out. If I didn't confess it straight up I would be knocked unconscious by Hurricane Lissa.
"Come again?" she asked, stupefied.
"Dimitri fathered the twins- they're Nikolai Hathaway-Belikov and Sonja Hathaway-Belikov... technically."
"What do you mean, Technically! They either are or they aren't! And how did you 'forget' to tell me your mentor," she spat his old role out at me in disgust, "knocked you up!"
"You think he took advantage of me!" Sometimes I wondered, but a part of me didn't believe he'd lied about loving me, that I just told myself that to build a wall up- one he could too-easily knock down. Not that I was going to let her believe that- not when I didn't fully believe it. "I wanted it. God, I wanted him. I love him, Liss!" Oh god, did I love him. Even after all this time, after all he'd done to me, I still loved him. And damn him to hell for making me feel that way! I didn't want to know that, I didn't want to acknowledge it, and I damn-well didn't want to feel it. I didn't want my heart putting itself back on the line. "He's my everything. He always has been. He didn't force me!"
"Then why didn't you tell me!" Betrayal, confusion, anger all washed through her... a tiny part of her was happy and excited for me, for him, for the twins. She just couldn't tell she was feeling that way. I didn't want her to feel that joyous; this was not a situation that would have a happy ending.
"I couldn't tell anyone. Especially after finding out I was pregnant. It's not that I didn't trust you, it's that I didn't trust the walls with ears that reside in Court and the Academy. Besides, it didn't matter after he left."
Lissa's teary eyes bugged. "Didn't matter!" she screeched, "Of course it mattered! Not only did you keep him from the twins, not only did you deny them a father, you let him get away with not taking responsibility for his children! He should have known! He should have been there to pick up the slack, to give you time out when we couldn't take them off your hands."
"He chose her for kids, a family!" I exclaimed. I was cut off.
"He already has one! With! YOU! And you denied him."
I literally pulled my hair. I refused to wince when my sliced hand complained. "He doesn't deserve them," I whispered. "I'm outta here- keep an eye on them."
"Did Adrian know?" All his comments about Dimitri and matching cold attitude towards the unsuspecting father in question fell into place.
I nodded. "Auras and eavesdropping and stuff. I didn't tell him, he figured it out."
I said too much. "Go!" commanded a sobbing Lissa. "I'll stay, but go!" I didn't need to be told twice when my kids wouldn't talk to me, when Lissa was furious and heartbroken, when Dimitri suspected Adrian was the father.