Hardest of Hearts (VA fanfic) [Adopted from Fanfiction's Dareia]

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

Sonja'sPOV
I escaped to the woods surrounding campus. I couldn't sort through my swirling, accumulating, cyclonic flood of thoughts. I couldn't control the onslaught of emotions, one after another threatened to overtake me.

Out of anyone to be a dead-beat father it was him? The famous, legendary, textbook, history book, and curriculum-inclusion worthy Guardian Belikov! Worthy of that recognition my ass! And famous for what? Leaving behind pregnant teenage mentees? Really respectful and makes him so respectable. Note the heavy, dripping sarcasm. Then he dared turn up two years before I graduate! He dared take me on as his student.

And Mom! Mom had known all this time. She'd known that we were studying our father's exploits. She knew I'd been given my father as my mentor. She knew! Still she'd said nothing. Not a breath, not a syllable. Not a clue about a clue. And Niko was his damn reflection! How did she forget to mention our father when his mini clone was my brother– her son! She should have sat us down when I stormed in this afternoon and told me that slave driver had been her mentor and the father of her twins. Finding out at dinner... That was absolutely horrendous. I'd never seen Mom, the Guardian Rose Hathaway, as being weak. But she had been. She could slaughter a small pack of Strigoi on her own without hesitation or fear. But she lacked the courage to tell us who our father was. Nice, Mom. Thanks. Real nice way of learning the truth and your true character.

I shook and my roiling emotions had made me forget to pay attention to my surroundings. This far from campus, this close to the wards, not paying attention was a very stupid thing to be doing. Guardians would be swarming this part of the forest.

I was brutally reminded of that when I crashed into a wall. Not a wall, exactly. But a guardian's chest and wall of abs. Instinct told me who it was before I looked up. Relief flooded through me. He wouldn't get me in trouble. He never had. Actually, he saved my butt nearly as much as Mom did.

His arms snaked around my waist, literally saving my butt from a bruise my own idiocy would have created. He steadied me as he always did. Shivers traveled up and down my spine, and warmth spread over my entire body, heating and boiling my veins in something polar opposite to the fury that had put me on the verge of a bigger blow-out with Mom... if that was even possible. His touch caused another, more powerful fog in my mind.

"Hey," his deep voice flowed over me like a caress. Safety. "Are you alright?" he asked with such touching, genuine concern. Care.
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I couldn't very well lie to him. "No. In all reality. No." He could always tell when I was lying. Vulnerability.
"What's wrong, Sonja?" With two fingers he slowly and gently tipped my chin up so I was forced to look in those powerful blue eyes. I was immediately lost in them. Weakness. In their depths I found nothing but worry and curiosity. Support. They reminded me of a raging sea in the middle of a storm, and fascinated me just as much. Attraction.
I knew it was wrong. I knew it was exactly what I shouldn't feel. I knew it was dangerous and not to mention illegal. He was a guardian. And not just any guardian. My brother's flamin' hot and godly gorgeous kickass mentor. Niko's older mentor. And I was crushing on him. I had to be losing my mind. I had be going mental, considering I failed fighting these crazy emotions. What made it harder still was that every now and then, just very rarely, I believed there could be hope he felt the same way, that he shared in this insanity. I mean, he'd never openly said or done anything. But there were moments like these where his eyes bored into mine almost searchingly. There were moments just like this one, in the shadows, where he held me and I just can't pull away, where he doesn't seem to have it in him to release me. There were moments just like this one, where he let worry and concern etch itself on his face. They were so few and far between, but they were there, and they drove me mad in the interim.
I was just about to find my voice when a deep, Russian accented voice shattered the moment. Time to be sent back to jail apparently.

"Guardian Bradley, what do you think you're doing!" his voice carried a very strong trace of anger and suspicion. "Step this way, Sonja Hathaway."

James immediately released me. Loneliness. My anger grew and rose to new heights; I didn't know I had that much fury in me. Of everyone to bust us, it had to be him! He stole our very rare moment of alone time. How would he feel if someone had taken a quiet moment between him and Mom all those years ago? Hypocritical ass.

"No. And it's none of your business, Guardian Belikov," I hissed.
"I didn't ask you, young lady— I'll deal with you later. I won't say it again, Sonja, get over here. Your mother won't be happy when she finds out what you're doing."
"Why do you mind what I do, Guardian Belikov?" I spat. "Not everyone is a cold, cowardly bastard like you. There are men who don't leave a pregnant teen! There's people who take responsibility for their actions. James is one of those good men!" Hope that I'd hurt him, hope that I'd punished him licked at me.
"Go home, Sonja." His look told me not to mess with him, but his deep, slow inhale told me I'd successfully unbalanced him. Pride welled up within me. Good. He deserved to hurt. And it was about damn time.
"Don't tell me what to do!" I screamed furiously. Now he gets all fatherly and demanding? Well, I'm not playing. "You aren't my father!" I wanted to defy him, and I was itching to throttle him for all he'd done, for missing out on everything.
Except I couldn't get near him. James's almost-made-of-steel arms held me against his chest in his vice-like grip. He murmured soothing Spanish sweet nothings in my ear to calm me. It was working until another voice joined in the mix.
My mother's. She appeared in front of me. "What's going on here?" I picked up my fruitless struggle to escape once again.
"That's what I'm trying to find out. When I found them, they were in each other's arms." I was ready to scream at him that he was being a hypocrite. I wanted to spar his ass to the ground and yell at him to get lost, to leave James, and my family, alone, to stay with that scar-faced bitch of a Moroi he'd broken my mother's heart and character to be with instead.
"Guardian Hathaway, I swear—" James's nervous reassurance was cut off. His arms around me relaxed at the look in her brown eyes that even caused me to stop struggling.
"You can go now. Both of you."

Judging by her expression I know we're both up for some serious talks with her. I know she won't let this slide. She's the feared Guardian Rose Hathaway for a reason. Belikov couldn't see that, though.
In disbelief and with wide eyes he asked, "Rose, I hope you don't mean..."
"This is none of your business, Guardian Belikov. What my daughter does and how I deal with it is MY problem and none of your concern. James, take Sonja back to her dorm."
"What!" I screeched. I hated my dorm. I rarely used it. And when I did, it was almost like Mom used it instead of a naughty corner. She was turning me out of home for the night. It was the only sign of just how pissed off she actually was.
"You heard. Guardian Bradley, escort Sonja to her dorm. Now. I'll deal with both of you in the morning."

Despite the repercussions of Belikov happening across and causing this scene, I can't help the triumph that stirred in the pit of my stomach and lightened my mood when Belikov recoiled a couple of steps and his shock showed openly on his face. I glare at him when I passed him, with James tugging on my wrist to tell me to stop digging myself a bigger hole. As I walked I away I hoped Mom would hand him a Hathaway grilling that she'd become known for amongst the guardians and novices.