Only You

Chapter 8 Mirror Mirror

"Here you go, my dear."

"Thank you, Dr. Clark. This tea smells delicious."  The rich, nostalgic aroma distracted her from dismal memories.  "Loaded with cane sugar and peach juice, just the way I like it."

He guided her to a chair, fluffed up a pillow that was behind her, and then took his seat.  "I'm assuming that you want to know about your mother."

"Yes."

"You know, there's only so much I can tell you because of patient confidentiality?  Right now she only has Ian listed as a person to whom we can give information.  I hope you did anticipate that.  I will ask her to add you to the list, if you'd like?"

"I don't think I'll be here long enough for it to matter.  Just tell me what you can, and if I ask you a question and you think you can answer it, please do."

"That's fair enough.  I think the easiest way to do this is to start with information that is already public.  Clarissa hasn't made any attempts to hide what's going on and everyone that loves your family has rallied around her, so that's pretty much everybody in town.  What she has said is that, 'I have lymphoma.  I am ill but do not have any intentions of dying.'"

"Without giving me her prognosis, but your opinion of cancers like lymphoma that you have seen during your years of practice, do you think she will live or die in denial of the severity of the condition?"

"What a question!"  Dr. Clark didn't answer for a long time.  That made Rena very nervous.  She really didn't want him to agree with Ian's death sentence.  For the first time in her life she thought about what life would be like without a mother, and having to live with the fact that you didn't have much of a relationship with her while she was alive.  She took a long sip of the hot tea and slowly began to feel the soothing effects of it.

"Rena, it is my opinion by observation that people in her condition have a better chance of longevity or even remission if they are not under stress.  It is also my observation that your mother is under an extreme amount of stress and is in denial about that."

Knots twisted in Rena's stomach and she could feel her throat getting dry. She knew tears were not far away.  "Dr. Clark, I need a moment." 

She swiftly walked out to the front porch.  Her thoughts were racing.  After taking a deep breath, she sat down on the porch swing.  Just as she felt her nerves beginning to subside, she looked up and got another jolt.  A young man that looked just like Dr. Clark used to look was heading up to the porch – Eldred Clark.  When their eyes locked, he stopped.  There was enough tension to raise war in the south.  He resumed his stride. 

"It's good to see you, Rena.  I never thought you'd be back here."

"Don't hurt my mother."

"Why would I do that?  I get this all the time from my dad.  I'm not going to allow you to add to it.  I love your mother.  We get along well." 

He proceeded to enter the house, and Rena stood up and raised her hand to stop him.  "Eldred, wait.  Surely you can see why some people have concern!"

"Let me ask you this, Rena. If you were sick and you were my partner, would anyone have a damn concern?  You know they wouldn't because we are four years apart.  I am sick of everyone in this town having an opinion on what I do with your mother."

"I know you're right, Eldred, but..."

The elder Dr. Clark stepped to the door to make sure that Rena was okay, but when he saw Eldred he turned to go back inside. 

"I get all the 'buts', Rena.  I found someone whom I enjoy and that is very difficult to do, with young women being motivated by my money and success.  I love caring for her.  I love sitting in chemo with her.  I am there for the good days she has and the bad ones.  Plus, I've known her my whole life.  If you can't see the good in that, then I feel sorry for you and anyone else.  Leave her alone concerning this matter."  He reached out and handed Rena a stack of papers.  "Just give this to my dad.  I want this on record that I will be there for Clarissa for however long she has left.  What about you?"

Those words hacked through Rena like a blow from a machete.  She couldn't take it anymore.  She sat down and cried. 

When Dr. Clark heard, he came quickly.  "What did he say to you?  I'll take care of him."

She handed him the papers.  "It's okay Dr. Clark.  He simply told me the truth."

***

After Dr. Clark and Rena went back inside, they continued to discuss Clarissa.  He gave her some really good advice on things that he observed that were causing stress to her mom, and suggestions of what he would do if he were in her position.  The latter conversation was more hopeful than how the initial conversation had begun. Rena asked Dr. Clark if it was okay to leave her car parked in the driveway so that she could take a walk along the beach.  He agreed that taking a long walk on this beautiful day would surely be of benefit to her.  He also encouraged her to come over any time she needed to sit and relax on his back porch or take a good stretch on the beach.  Adjusting to the fact that at one time she could do this at any time without anyone's permission made her realize how much she'd taken for granted. 

Dr. Clark made another cup of tea for her and set it on the back porch table, and went back inside.  She relaxed.  After finishing the tea and being lulled to calmness while watching the sea, she fell asleep. 

Several hours later, she was awoken by the squawk of a gull.  The beautiful day was flowing into a glorious sunset.  She remembered all the years she enjoyed walking the beach at sunset and headed out for a stroll.  There was a pier not too far down on the beach.  She decided to walk there.  It was a special place to her.  She and Blake had spent many nights on that pier.  I can't believe how much I've missed the tranquility of the sea.

The pier was just as she remembered.  She walked to the end of it and decided to watch the sunset from there.  The spray of the water and salty air began to refresh her.  She could see a few people walking on the beach and kids laughing and playing in the sand, which gave her a lift.  When she finally began to head back to Dr. Clark's home she was in a much lighter mood.

Rena stopped, took her sandals off and rolled up her pants legs.  After picking them up, she walked along the edge of the water.  She was really enjoying the evening tide and breeze.  She looked up and noticed that Dr. Clark's home was only a few houses away.  Over the gentle sound of the surf she thought that she heard someone call her name.  To her surprise, she saw Blake sitting on the back porch of his parents' house.  He was beckoning her to come sit with him.  As soon as she saw him, her pulse kicked up.  How will I ever get over losing him for good?  What have I done?

That thought left her feeling so weighted down.  Rena had never considered the full impact of her actions on anyone.  She was too busy justifying why she lived in New York.  Seeing Blake made her realize the cost of her narrow focus. 

She trudged up the sand and stepped onto the porch.  Blake held out his hand, giving her a lift. 

"What are you doing out here?"

"I stopped by to see Dr. Clark.  Are your parents at home?  I intended to see your mom before I left."  Rena and Blake knew full well why she didn't mention his dad.  Blake left the matter alone.

"This is my home now.  When I came back to Savannah, he retired and they decided to downsize.  Dad was tired of the upkeep and deeded the house to me.  They live about forty-five minutes away, in a nice condo on Hilton Head."

"Ugh, more change.  God, this is crazy."

Rena couldn't bear being so close to Blake.  She tried to slip by him, heading for the closest chair, but he stood in her way.  "You shouldn't have stayed away so long."  She knew he wanted to say more; it was evident in his gaze.  Those piercing grey eyes lit her soul.  This was another painful truth, and she wanted him to know how much she regretted it. 

"I never wanted the anger I feel towards my mother to hurt us, Blake."

***Authors Note***

To: My Beloved Readers

From: Jaspira

I love Ian and Avery's relationship because he is so rough cut and needs a woman to tame him. Life is like that. There are lots of tough guys with good hearts out there, and all they need is a good woman. Don't fall for a tough guy with a bad heart, that will mess your life up.