Only You

Chapter 15 Hush Little Baby Don't You Cry

Blake gave Rena space for a few days. They both knew they had a lot to work through. Rena was sleep deprived, wanted a man that was engaged and knew she had to get back to New York as soon as possible before she wrecked Courtney's life. It was the middle of the day and she couldn't bring herself to get up. She lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Clarissa passed by Rena's room and was surprised to see her there and not at the restaurant. She stepped in through the door.

"Are you feeling okay, Rena?"

"As well as can be expected."

"This must have something to do with Blake. Is it just now hitting you that he's engaged?"

Rena chuckled. Lord, how she wished that was her only problem. Blake consumed her and she wasn't sharing that with anyone. He was in her every thought. She felt him in every dream.

"I want the best for him and I don't know how to make that possible."

"Because you understand that no matter what you do for Blake, even with your best intentions in mind, somebody is going to get hurt."

Rena nodded.

Clarissa sat on the bed next to Rena. She held her hand. For the first time in a very long time, Rena remembered the gentleness of her mother's hand. She remembered the warmth of her hand stroking her back on a tough day, to point a finger when she needed correcting and to wipe a tear away after a bruised knee.

Rena found herself in a vortex of memories of a loving mother. She found herself leaning on Clarissa's shoulder just like she used to. Clarissa was so surprised, her only response was to cry. They both cried a long, relieving cry that would wash away years of misunderstanding and bitterness.

When they recovered, Clarissa hugged Rena as tightly as she could. "That's what I did for you. I wanted the best for you and I didn't know how to make that possible without somebody getting hurt."

Rena slipped out of her embrace and kissed her mother. "Avery said something at the park the other day. It must have been true."

"What did Avery say, baby?"

"Avery said that there were rumors that you and Dad didn't have a bitter divorce, and the reason you sent me away had nothing to do with Ian and you not loving me. She said you wanted Dad to go to New York."

"I did."

Rena felt as if a millstone had smashed her. The gravity of her perceived life was crumbling all around her. She had so many questions, but she waited for her mother to speak.

"Before I tell you what happened, Rena, outside of Blake, what do you honestly think of your life? I want you to tell me the absolute truth."

Rena could immediately see pieces of an awful puzzle snapping into place in a beautiful way. "I love my life, plain and simple. I am more successful than I ever imagined. Avery put it this way, she said, and I quote, 'You have the world at your feet.' I'm confident. I'm bold. I'm outspoken. I have wealth. I'm well appreciated in my industry and I have made a mark in this world. I couldn't be more proud of myself and I don't mean that in a bragging way."

Clarissa couldn't stop crying. Rena fully understood why. She was the sacrifice. She was the one that stood to get hurt for the greater good. Now she needed Clarissa to tell her what drove that very hard and costly decision that was still rippling twenty years later. Rena held her mother and kissed away her tears.

"Rena, I am so very sorry for what our decision did to you." Rena nodded in understanding. "I loved your father more than anything in the world. We were so happy together. One of the things that made us happy was our dream of moving to New York. I met your father in high school. We both worked for the school newspaper and were on the journalism team. Both of us loved reporting and creating stories and wanted to become big-time writers."