Heartbreak Boy

Amnesia

Opening his eyes was made difficult by the gross goo and crust that was left between his lashes from the tears he shed the night before. He hadn't even realized that he had fallen asleep, and now he regretted it because he was still damp from the rain covered clothes that he slept in that made him smell like a wet dog. He grunted as he lifted himself up to a sitting position. He thought back to yesterday, yep he still remembered. Damn. Last night he was thinking of how much easier it would be to just wake up one day with Amnesia, so he could forget losing her. He shook the thought from his head and focused on getting up and moving. He heard laughing coming from the next room which meant that the guys were up. He sighed and pulled the curtain open, hopping out of the bunk bed and headed to the bathroom to strip his wet clothes off. On his way he passed where the guys were. They stopped laughing when they saw him. Michael's smile slowly turned to a frown when he saw Luke's face. But he didn't miss a beat.

"Dude we're lucky the bus is stopping soon. Cause you smell like shit." a ghost of a smile formed on Luke's face. They were trying to cheer him up with humor. He appreciated it that they weren't walking on eggshells around him, well so far.

"Thanks Mike." he said, his voice was surprisingly steady. He walked the rest of the way to the bathroom and got changed. When he looked at himself in the mirror he didn't recognize his own reflection. No wonder the guys went speechless. His eyes were red and looked huge and puffy, people could definitely tell he'd been crying. There were also black circles under his red eyes, saying he hadn't gotten as much sleep as he thought. He looked like the walking dead. Whatever. He wasn't fine, not at all. So he didn't need to act like he was. He went to the kitchen because it was on the other side of the bus, away from the guys. He wouldn't admit it but he was avoiding them. He didn't want to talk to anyone even though they were trying to help him back to normality. But Normal has changed. Normal no longer consisted of Aleisha, and he wasn't ready for that. He sat down at the table and took out his phone. He couldn't help it. He had to look at them. He opened up his pictures and there they were. All his pictures with his beautiful angel. Some were of just her that she had sent him long ago. He would never delete them, they would live there forever. Maybe if he kept looking at how happy they were then he could pretend that they were still happy and... together. It all felt like a bad dream that he couldn't wake up from. It hasn't even been a whole day but he already felt so alone. She's gone, she's really gone. He knew it would happen. They both did. They had so many arguments about what was going to happen when that day came that he got on the bus and left. She didn't want to come with him. She wanted to finish school and live a normal life. And they both knew long distance relationships never worked. So they both decided to just part ways. But Luke never thought it would be so hard. The makeup that ran down her face had made his heart ache. He was the reason she had cried. Because he was leaving, and he wasn't going to be there anymore. But she chose to stay. And he would never fall asleep next to her again or hold her in his arms late at night, letting her beauty lure him to sleep. All the texts, all the memories, the wishes they made together, they mean nothing now. It's over. Just like that.

"Morning Honey." Luke's thoughts were interrupted by his mother walking into the kitchen. She didn't know yet.

"Why aren't you with the boys?" she asked. She hadn't looked directly at him yet, she was too preoccupied with getting breakfast. So she hadn't noticed his face. He lowered his head to look at his phone so that she wouldn't get a chance to notice it. "Oh! I've been meaning to ask you. How's Aleisha doing? She's such a nice girl and you look so hap-" she stopped mid sentence when she saw Luke's head snap up. His heart clenched, it still hurt even just hearing her name.

"What? What did I s-." she stopped and looked at him more closely. "Luke what happened?" everything went silent. The guys in the back stopped fooling around. Luke faintly heard Ashton say "Shit." before the three of them practically ran into the kitchen making loads of noise, opening the fridge, grabbing food. Calum went to Liz distracting her from Luke.

"Liz your hair looks great today did you do something different with it?" Michael hurried Luke out of the kitchen and into the back room as a shelter from his mom.

"Well, no. Calum what's wrong with-"

"Sorry Liz, band meeting. Gotta go. Come on Cal." Ashton said and ran into the back with Calum right on his tail. They closed the door behind them and sat down in a circle looking at Luke.

"Hey bro, you okay? Feel free to sugar coat it." Ashton said obviously kidding but still earned a slap on the arm from Calum.

"Shut up Ass." then he turned to Luke "Seriously, talk." they were all looking at him. This was what he was worried about. Them getting all weird just because he was. He shouldn't be mad. They're worried about him but still. He didn't want everything to change. He stood abruptly and took them all in.

"Look I'm not fine. And I don't feel like talking about it because it makes me feel like crap and you guys aren't my therapists so quit acting like it." he snapped , grabbed his guitar and started for the door. Calum got in his way.

"We're just trying to be your friends. We hate seeing you like this Luke." he was sincere and it pained Luke to know that his moping was affecting them too.

"I know Cal, I'm sorry I just need to be alone." he said and rushed out of the room, closing the door behind him and sat on his bed. He clutched his guitar close to him and closed his eyes. Breathe. Relax. In, out. In, out. He felt himself slowly began to relax. Then he started to play. He let his fingers take control and they worked the strings of his guitar; he liked what was being created so he kept it going. Which lead him to start humming to the slow beat.

"I remember the day you told me you were leaving... I remember the make-up running down your face... and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them... like every single wish we ever made..." the words just kept coming until he had some solid parts of an unexpected song.

"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia... and forget about the stupid little things... like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you... and the memories I never can escape... cause I'm not fine at all, no I'm really not fine at all...tell me this is just a dream! Cause I'm really not fine at all." he let the guitar sound die out then finally opened his eyes. A lone tear fell from his eye and he quickly wiped away. He looked up to see the guys standing there watching him. There wasn't pity or even anger in their eyes. There was understanding. Calum came over, sat next to Luke on the bed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a half hug.

"Good, song bro." he said, and Luke oddly felt a little better after that.

"Heartbreak Boy" is copyright 2015 by @Bookworm162015, all rights reserved.