I am finding out that maybe I was wrong, that I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
You had eagerly climbed the staircase, step by step with all your might, only to find it sprawled out behind you as you neared the top. The further up you went, the further down your peers, until you stood alone at its summit. No one could possibly match you, you'd reasoned, your ability at that point was far too high from all the intensive training you'd undergone. Standing at the peak of all you'd ever dreamed of, but at what price?
So you marveled at her first performance, aura overflowing with pink blossoms and a sweet fragrance. Her very first time on stage, you later learned, and she pulled off a special appeal. Talent, a predisposition, something you knew of in theory but could hardly imagine. Just what was she capable of? And so you found yourself inexplicably drawn to her, easing right into the range of her gravitational pull. Her, a natural born star.
The closer you came, the harder it was to pull away. She managed to get in through the cracks, and even as you tried to close yourself off, to push her away not only for your sake but hers, you only fell in deeper.
Stay with me. This is what I need, please,
A radio plays a song somewhere, a melody you've never heard before, gold trim lining the fabric of your thoughts. You don't hear it; it's much too far away. The first time you stood on stage together, you remember how hard she tried and worked to match you, to live up to the expectations of everyone watching. You remember how she struggled in her frustration. And you remember how beautiful she looked bathed in the light of the setting sun.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you. We could sing our own, but what would it be without you?
That moment was when you realized that there was no stopping it, no reversing it or turning it on its head. You were in love with her. And you were scared. It was easier, certainly, to keep her at arm's length, to set up a practical, professional distance between you. But you couldn't do it, caught between your own fear and the yet unknown feelings budding in you, as she took your hands in hers and gave a genuine, honest smile.
And now, now you watch as she so easily puts her feelings to words as you had tried to all that time ago. She sings to a sea of people, but her eyes are locked on you. You don't know how she does it, and through your embarrassment there's a distinct warmth there, her own radiance seeming to envelop you. In that, in her words, in her love, you find the will to keep going, a path lit before you at last.
I am nothing now and it's been so long since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
You remember her reaction the last time you'd met as you told her of your plans to retire, how you couldn't bear to face her for too long. You didn't want to see the horror and distress in her eyes or hear the tremble in her voice. You were lost, but she swam through and found you. In that moment, she became your guiding star.
This time I will be listening
Akari points toward the stage after the song ends. "She's waiting for you."
You know, of course, that the only thing you can do is see her. She lifted you up and carried you with her angel's wings when you couldn't fly; now you can spread them to fly beside her, and you do. You and Akari join the stage alongside her in your own dresses of moonlight and winding flowers, and Ichigo sees you, eyes widening and smile blooming and all she can say is, "Mizuki-san!" Your eyes meet and you're grateful that you happen to be on stage because otherwise you might have melted right there.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you. We could sing our own, but what would it be without you?
You speak afterward, Akari trailing behind, and the only way you can describe your feelings is free. Your wings are spread as they were when the two of you performed your own song beneath the light of an artificial moon, all that time ago. You can feel the cool air on your face, your neck, breathing it in as if you haven't tasted it in years. "Even though it was a love song..." she says, slightly flustered. You smile as honestly as she did back then.
"I know. I accepted it."
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
Later you take her hands just as she did back then, full of genuine, honest care and love, and you smile as your eyes meet for that brief moment, even as it stretches into a small eternity. You love her. The exact lines of your love may differ, but it is and has always been, you realize, fully mutual. As scary as it is, and you won't deny it, you wouldn't have it any other way.
My heart is yours...
(Please don't go now. Please don't fade away.)
My heart is yours.
