Two Evils ◦ Finnick Odair

tre; a moment of weakness

TWO EVILS.

03 TRE: A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS

❝I want Wiress and Beetee.❞

❝Joanna calls them Nuts and Volts.❞

❝Now, okay good, now who else?❞

❝How about Grier?❞

❝Alright fine then no one.❞

❝I'll tell them you're still making up your mind.❞

_______

Life sucked, but Grier already knew that. Whenever she was caught in a mess, hurt, or just plain done with everything life has to through her way, she remembered one thing: shit happens. Life was shit.

That's all she could remember thinking as she boarded the train for the first time when she was fourteen. She remembered the tears slipping down past her face, blurring her vision. And as she watched the world travel by from the back of the train, all Grier could really think was that shit happens. But the question was: why did the shit have to happen to her?

Now, the same shit was happening all over again. The impending doom of the arena was hanging over her head like a cloud that just wouldn't go away. It was almost like a kind of depression. All this killing, all these things are something Grier had done before in the past. The Games were supposed to be a one time thing. You're in and you win, then you leave. But you can never really leave. The Capitol watched everyone like a hawk, especially the past victors.

Last night, Grier almost worked herself into a complete panic. The once strong and ruthless girl she had become crumbling in a single night. It didn't matter very much, though. No one had seen her in her little moment of weakness. As long as others around her kept the very image of the should-be career in their minds, she wouldn't have to do anything. Even as it crumbled, Grier still wanted to hold on to her castle and title for as long as she could.

All that bravery was a facade that she had been tricking herself with for years. Deep down, she was still that scared little girl from District 4 who was tricked into being a killer. Just because she was once that girl, didn't mean she wanted to be her again.

Finnick was the one to find her in a complete mess on the floor. Not her mentor Kimber, not Joanna, but Finnick. He acted like everything was fine. She was worried that if he saw her in a moment of weakness, his views might changed, maybe even think lesser of her. But he didn't. Finnick understood all that pain because he was also there, stuck in that arena.

He even tried to get her to talk and she wanted to. She really wanted to but it was a reflex for her to close up.

The next day wasn't much better. More training for the Games. But this time it wasn't really training, more like judging. Their skills were to be evaluated to see how well they might survive in the arena. Underneath, Grier was still affected by the night before but somehow she managed to stay closed up. Finnick couldn't do anything about her reclusive demeanor, only watch as she tore herself apart on the inside.

The two sat in a comforting silence the rest of the night. No one dared to speak about anything, just sitting in the dark of their apartment.

In the morning, Grier was a groggy mess. Everything she had dome that morning was almost robotic, useless task after task. She couldn't even remember how she had managed to make her way to the waiting room with all the other tributes. It must've been Finnick, her mind supplied.