"Calum, what is this?"
You shoved your phone in his face, trying to act calm when in reality you felt anger but also anxiety rising in your chest.
"Uh... your phone?"
He looked at you sheepishly, obviously not understanding what you were trying to get out of him.
"You know that's not what I am talking about."
Calum took a closer look and shrugged, while sitting up a bit straighter from his spot on the couch.
"A picture of me...?"
"Doing what?"
"... taking a break?"
Not having a great day wasn't really an excuse to blow up like you did. But nevertheless his answers were enough for you to be fed up with him. You weren't sure if he was just acting stupid or if he really didn't get what you were talking about, but you definitely had enough.
"Shit Calum, don't act dumb. When did you startsmoking?"
He seemed to be taken aback from what you just said, saying nothing for a few seconds. You felt him examine you, probably trying to figure out why you were suddenly so upset with him.
"Why does it matter?"
There was something in the look he gave you that you couldn't quite put your hand on. He looked uncertain, but at the same time really defensive. But frankly, you didn't care that much at the moment. You didn't care why he decided to smoke, you just didn't want him to continue? Why couldn't he just said that it was a onetime thing? Caught in the moment on a night out? Folding your arms in front of your chest you started to feel annoyed by his answer. Why was he acting so defensively? Why couldn't he just answer your question?
"It just does." You sounded like a stubborn child, not that you were aware of that right now.
Calum just let out a dry laugh. "Real good answer, you got there."
His answers really didn't help with the anger that was already building up in your chest. It felt like your skin was on fire, the furiousness boiling up in you.
"It doesn't matter why, Calum. I just want you to stop."
It seemed like that your answers were doing the same thing to Calum as his answers were doing to you.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"
Calum was now towering over you, after springing to his feet. The tone in his voice had changed from defensive to angry and you really didn't want to stare into his stormy eyes right now. But you had to.
"No." You simply said, before taking a huge breath. Not really because you needed the air but more to give you a little more time to sort your thoughts out.
"It's dangerous and stupid, Calum!"
"What the fuck do you know about dangerous and stupid?"
He took a step in your direction, still glaring at you. With his words he pushed your uncertainty away, making you even more angry. And what the hell did he know more about dangerous and stupid than you did?
"Jesus Christ, even little kids know it's bad! Literally everyone does! It'll ruin your voice and, even worse, your health!"
You stopped for a second, not sure if you should finish what you wanted to say.
"People die, Calum! Do you know how many people fucking die from being stupid like this?"
He let out a laugh, but it wasn't his usual happy laugh. It was dry and emotionless, something you had never heard from him. Even though his laugh didn't show much emotion, his eyes certainly did. His brown eyes usually looked so warm, so full of love. But right now he made it seem like you were the most annoying thing he had ever seen.
"I didn't know I dating a fucking child. Grow the fuck up and mind your own fucking business. Oh... wait, I know: You can't. That's why you always annoy the shit out of me."
You knew that he'd intended his words to hurt and you really wanted to brace yourself for it. But the truth was that you've never been good at that. At least not when it was someone you loved spitting venom at you. His words cut deeply and he knew they would. He was perfectly aware of most of your insecurities and being a burden to others, getting on someone else's nerves, not being wanted anymore was one of your biggest ones. You felt the tears brimming in your eyes as you didn't understand how he could just smash your concern for him into pieces. No words were coming out of your mouth while you were trying not to show him your tears.
"Seriously, stop being so damn uptight. So what if I smoke, what are you gonna do about it? Tell my mother?"
He was getting even more into it, letting whatever rage he had built up inside him take over him. Obviously not realising how much he was hurting you, he just kept yelling at you. Your anger was suddenly replaced with something else. You felt like crying like a baby, all the feelings you had kept bottled up for so long suddenly being released at the same time. You couldn't deal with this situation anymore, you couldn't listen to him saying any more harsh things towards you.
"Cal... I... please... please stop shouting..."
You attempted to calm him down, but actually accomplish the opposite:
"This is my damn house, stop trying to command me. If you can't fucking accept how things are get the fuck out."
It wasn't his words that made you recoil from him, it was the way he looked at you. The way his eyes screamed at you how furious he was, how little he wanted to see you right now.
"That's not how a relationship works Calum..."
"Yeah, you know what? Maybe that's the fucking problem, it doesn't."
And with these words he plopped down on the couch, ignoring the fact that shortly after his words you started sobbing. You just couldn't hold back the tears that were now freely flowing down your cheeks. That was definitely not how you pictured this evening to go. You had just wanted to talk to him about... him smoking. You had wanted to tell him that you had some personal issues with it. Tell him why you were so upset about it, make him understand that it reminded you of bad times. That you were scared of losing even more loved ones.
You knew that it was probably the most stupid thing you could do in that situation, but you turned around on your heels and left. You left his house, his street and just kept on walking. You knew that you should be trying to fix this fight, but after all this arguing you didn't have enough strength left in your body. You didn't even care that it was freezing cold and in your hurry you didn't even bring a coat to keep you warm.
