Me on a date: So, do you like FOB?
Them: No, not really.
Me: *shoves breadsticks into purse* Sorry I need to leave immediately. It's not me, it's you. Actually it's the taxidermy of you and me. Untie the balloons from my neck and ground me. I'm just a race horse on a track. Send me back, to the glue factory. Always thought I'd float away and never come back, but I've got enough miles on my car to fly the boys home on my own.
Them: *confused look*
Me: *stands up and glares at from across table* But you know me. I like being all alone and keeping you all alone. The charts are boring, the kids are snoring and the eagle's in a sling. You said you're not wishing, and I said I'm listening..
Them: *starts to leave*
Me: I SAID! I SAIIDDD!!!
Is it bad that I totally memorized that whole thing? Yeah. It's bad. Oops.
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Dumb Ways To Die ~ Fangirl Edition
HumorYou DO NOT want to mess with a fangirl, so this is a helpful book of things NOT to say to one. You're welcome. Have you ever brutally murdered someone over something stupid they said about your fandom/bandom? Put it in the comments or message me and...
