Trapped in the Sims (complete)

Part 14

"It's not your fault," Melissa assures me kindly for the fourth time. "People do odd things under the plumbob. When it's over your head, you have no choice but to obey."

I sigh miserably. We're sitting together on her bed, Melissa curled up catlike next to me. I find it hard to imagine her like I had just seen her a few minutes, stiff and blank-faced and emotionless. She's so realistic like this, so friendly and open. Almost like a friend. A real, human friend.

"I know," I agree slowly. "I guess I don't like being controlled, that's all."

"You're new to this place. That was only your first time," Melissa says, apparently trying to cheer me up. "You'll get used to it all. It's all just a bit much your first few times."

"Oh, thanks. Why doesn't that make me feel so much better?" I wonder aloud, sarcastically.

Melissa laughs briefly, then her face clouds over in a confused sort of frown. "Anyway, how can you remember so much about what happened back there?"

Dread suddenly pools in my stomach. "You - you mean you can't remember?" I ask, trying to speak casually, while alarm bells are ringing in my head.

Melissa shrugs. "Not perfectly. I was talking to you, I know that. And then I was awake again. The memory of what happens under the plumbob fades with age, anyway. And experience. It's just kind of weird that you can remember it so vividly."

So as I become more Simlike, my memory will go? I suddenly realise that that's not just true for gameplay. All those times trying to remember my human life - are my memories of my true self disappearing too? I can barely remember what my room looks like. Or my parents. Or Hannah.

Oh God.

Am I fading out of human existence, the longer I stay here?

"Maybe it's just since it's your first time," Melissa continues, oblivious to my expression of horror as she gazes dreamily around her room, her gaze alighting on the photo of Adam. "I guess once you've done it a few times, it won't be as clear in your memory."

The longer I stay here, the more like a sim I become.

"I'm sure you won't be forced to flirt with Kyle any more," she adds finally, looking back at me. I'm frozen, my mind suddenly making scary connections.

The longer I spend as a sim, the less likely it is that I'll ever get back home again.

Melissa finally notices my expression, and her face crumples into one of concern. "Rachel? Are you okay?"

I have to get out of the game.

Now.