The house was filled with slience all besides Jeremy's soft breathing as he lay asleep on my lap.
Ever since I could remember,
Everything inside of me,
Just wanted to fit in (oh oh oh oh)
I was never one for pretenders,
Everything I tried to be,
Just wouldn't settle in (oh oh oh oh)
I was holding the sleeping Jeremy in my lap as he had fallen asleep on me not to long ago. Last night was rough on him because I had another blank, a moment I couldn't remember, and attacked him. This has happened more often then it use to and it worried me. I've turned into a monster.
If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous,
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because,
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
If this problem lies in me
I was watching him as he slept, worried that I may have hurt him far worse then last time. There were bruises around his neck which made me feel horrible. I knew it wasn't all my fault for I wasn't fully there but it still hurt me more then people would have noticed.
I'm only a man with a candle to guide
me,
I'm taking a stand to escape what's
inside me.
A monster, a monster,
I've turned into a monster,
A monster, a monster,
And it keeps getting stronger.
I picked him up and rested him back down onto the couch. I smiled sadly down at him as tears softly rolled down my cheeks. I was hurting this boy, this boy who I loved more then anything. He loved me too. I knew it too. But I've been hurting him. It may not have been my "fault".
Can I clear my conscience,
If I'm different from the rest,
Do I have to run and hide? (oh oh oh
oh)
I never said that I want this,
This burden came to me,
And it's made it's home inside (oh oh
oh oh)
I walked out of the living room and into one of the back bedrooms. I was hurting him and he was letting me do it. I grabbed a pillow off of my bed and the blanket then walked back to the sleeping Jeremy. I lifted his head as softly as I could and slipped the pillow under his head then draped the blanket over him.
If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous,
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because,
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
If this problem lies in me
He wasn't afraid of me like everyone else was. Yes the children at work loved to play around with me (take my keys and so on) but their parents try to keep them away from me. Even the animatronics feared me, but Jeremy wasn't. He refused to stay away from me and liked to hang around.
I'm only a man with a candle to guide me,
I'm taking a stand to escape what's
inside me.
A monster, a monster,
I've turned into a monster,
A monster, a monster,
And it keeps getting stronger.
I brushed my hand against his cheek softly as tears continued to roll down my cheeks and onto the front of my shirt. I brushed his hair out of his face softly. I smiled softly and kisses his forehead. I felt him shift and saw him look up at me. He looked worried but didn't say anything.
I'm only a man with a candle to guide me,
I'm taking a stand to escape what's
inside me.
A monster, a monster,
I've turned into a monster,
A monster, a monster,
And it keeps getting stronger.
I hugged him tightly and he rubbed my back softly.
"I've turned into a monster," I whispered softly into his shoulder.
"No, you're not Mikey. You're not a monster," He whispered back.
"I-I love you Jere..."
"I love you too Mikey."
