No More Memories

Imprisoned

24 days before the death of Zephaniah Bowens

"Grr! I cannot take this anymore," I burst out with a scream that eventually I woke up everyone in my circle. I was in the living room alone sparring with the family punching bag in the dark and I took a break by heading toward my room.

Later I checked to see on everyone hoping that I did not disturb their precious sleep from my screaming. Everyone was fast asleep except for one being my brother Jacob since he knows all about of my late night activities.

Normally, I tend to swallow all of my rage and aggression to myself that no one can see through my disaffected path but tonight is different. Every night I always dreamed that one day I will finally be liberated from this wretched place and find someplace where I belong. However, each day turns out with the same tune and it always feels like that there is no end to this cycle. I wondered that perhaps my fate is destined to remain in this current status and never move on to the next phenomenon. I will refuse to believe this if that is the case but all of the signs are evident. Everything has been gloomy in my life that even the weather sends outpouring rainstorms appear as a reflection. I always strive to keep a blind eye on the negative outcomes but alas there are still memories reflecting back on how miserable my life is.

My family lived a inhospitable lifestyle for a home that is filled with insects scurrying around and deteriorated walls dating from the past which nothing compared to the life I have been granted. Allow me to elaborate you more about our house by telling you that our floors would be seeping with strange liquids and the bathrooms were unclean. I also recall from us that having heaps of clothing everywhere and sleeping on the floors thanks to broken furniture to which we had to discard them away. Everything in the house was practically begging to condemn and we even had a renovator to solve all of our problems until we received news that it was impossible. On that following day, the renovators gave all of us prominent careers that would make everyone rich so I have decided to ditch myself from enrolling to college and help out with my family. I later regret that decision after hearing upon shady tactics from the renovator swindling my family money and it ultimately drove everyone apart. My aunt foresaw this coming which is why she informed me to flee to college but I heed her advice too hesitantly  The point is I did not know what I was in for at first but everything was marvelous in its own sight once I have reached there. Indeed, the places that I traveled through were magical which is a word that I do not utilize very often. Who would have thought that turn out to be one of the best moments in my entire life and now I am thinking about any options left to achieve such happiness.

Now, I knew that nothing last forever but these places were a symbol of Paradise itself so perhaps I will return to those glorious moments. Plus, the interaction of the individuals that I have encountered in my journey gave me such a thrilling experience and it will serve as a place in my memory. I will always remember to wake up in the morning then head to the dining room to grab my platter of food and warm roast of coffee where my colleagues would discuss about our future lives. That is why I have to go back even if it means reversing time to reach my objective then so be it but it is futile no matter how I dreamed for things to occur my way. Plans like that would not work in this case and even if it did I would still be back to my miserable position.

If I do not react any sooner to make my dreams happen, then my memories of the good times will fade away and my purpose of life would be rendered meaningless. Still, who can I turn to for guidance as this time of hour and how can I return to this promised land? All of this anxiety is perplexing my mind and has driven me to repeat these three words.

"I need to go back, I need to go back, I need to go back."

"You need to fall asleep!" Jacob replied angrily as he realized that I was the cause for awakening from his slumber.