No More Memories

Fallen King

21 days before the death of Logan Bowens

My glorious reign had ended when I finished graduating high school and there were no fond memories of my departure. I remember that the last day of graduation where I have given my salutatorian speech and I noticed everything was staged from the beginning. There I had seen everyone smiling with friends inside their circle then went off for their celebration and I was left all alone. That is when I realized my life was over and shattered into pieces.

Sometimes I felt like that I was invincible to become the world's biggest star they had ever seen but perhaps dreaming too big would get you nowhere in life. I always that my existence would serve a greater purpose on about changing the world and many individuals come to accept me as their leader. As the eldest of my family, everyone figured that I would be rewrote our family history and lived a better life than theirs. Still, I recall that my counselors filling me with grand ideas that I would be destined for greatness which I fell for completely since no one has ever referred me as special before.

Ever since I was little, I knew inside of me that I was destined and truthfully I was right in some degrees. However, I live a classic lifestyle like most people have in my circle which ultimately affected on how my life would end. There have always been a void deep inside of me that wants to be free but I felt chained/pressured by the world so I have decided to become introverted. I thought that I could break the cycle for the family since none of our lives have been great and there was a lot of pressure on me at that present time considering the fact that I was the eldest. Everyone was riding the assumption that I had the potential to reveal something newfangled to the world which filled me with the responsibility to carry out the will. Things were looking great at first until there were some obstacles that I could reach to due to family elongated history of financial issues and transportation. Normally, I would have a contingency plan to do whatever it takes but I looked at myself to conclude that I am not good enough. There were so many dreaded memories on what my life could have been if I was in the right geographic location along with the best education and many opportunities that I had too decline because my family live by a code of principles. Whenever I see other individuals living their lives with extremes of fun, I grew sad with an amount of hatred in myself that I wandered why should I exist in the life.

It was only when I reached to high school that I knew my life would fall apart and remain as a failure. I cannot describe on how many adventures in my life during that time period where I had friends but I feel like that I should not be a part of life. Everything triggered so quickly once I graduated out of knowing that my life is doomed for I had man plans that were not accomplished yet. I thought that I could reflect on college to have a fresh, new start where to think that I had friends but I could not be there with them since my stubborn counselor will not release any transcript/ secondary school report for me. I cannot turn back now because I know that for a fact for they have either drifted themselves away from me or are on a whole different level from me. Even if I did wanted to return, the counselors will still not grant me access to college and they have the audacity to demand money from me which angers me. Now, I plundered in my crummy home hoping that I could pull myself off as a successful writer and dreamed that one day I will return to what is rightfully mine. I have nowhere to turn to really for no one wants to be around me that I cannot gain a job and I cannot turn back to school wants me to pay for my diploma. My family has given on me that they placed their faith on my younger siblings to have a bright future and have me rotting until there is no more of me. This is not how I want for my life to end when there is no much that I have given to the world. No, I will not be ignored anymore and I believe that there are others who will read over my tragic events of my life which is why I pick up writing.