What I Don't Know Can't Hurt You

Chapter Sixteen

The school week was pretty normal, and my grades had started to get a little better. The next Sunday, at about 8:30 at night, I was sitting on my bed, starting to re-read the Harry Potter series for about the 29th time when Ryan appeared in my doorway. I set my book down next to me.

"Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you," I told him.

"I actually came to talk to you. But you can go first."

"Okay."

Ryan sat down next to me. I put my hand on top of his.

"I was just thinking, you can't stay here forever. I have to go back to my mom's house next month, and she definitely wouldn't let you stay there. I mean, maybe Leo or Taryn or someone would let you stay at their house, but I think we should figure out a more permanent solution."

"Quinn, I think I know how I can get my parents to let me come back."

"Really? How?"

"We have to break up."

"I - what - but you - " I started to choke up, "you can't just - "

"Like you said," he started to cry too, "I can't stay here forever, and this is the only long-term thing I can think of."

"But we don't have to break up!" I protested. "We can still hang out at school!"

"No, we can't. Someone will see us, it'll get back to my family, and I'll get kicked out again. I'll sit alone at lunch."

"It's bad enough that the whole ninth grade football team hates you! You can't just be alone for the next four years!"

"You got a better plan?"

I shook my head.

"Not really."

"Then I guess this is goodbye."

"Right now?" I sobbed.

"The longer we date, the less likely I'll be allowed to live there."

He kissed me. I put my arms around his neck. I wanted this to last as long as possible.

Eventually, I had to pull away. My face was wet with tears, not all of them mine.

"I just - "

"I know."

I walked with Ryan to get his bags and then to my front door.

"See you at school tomorrow," I cried.

"Yeah."

I leaned my head into Ryan's shoulder. He pushed me away gently and lifted my chin so I was looking at him.

"God, I'm so in love with you," he whispered. He kissed me one last time and then he was gone.

I went back upstairs to my room, still crying. My vision blurred with tears, I opened the messages app on my phone and sent a text to Ryan.

Me: I love you too

A tear landed on my screen.

I waited 5, 10, 15, 30 minutes for an answer, but nothing happened. I screamed into my pillow.

Right when I gave up on a response, a little notification appeared. I squinted at my phone through my tears. "Read at 9:57," it said.

My dad saw me crying, but he didn't say anything to me. I guess he figured out what happened.