Romano and California: a Hetalia political union

The Don

•Italy's opinion on Romano and California•

Lately Lovino has been getting all comfy and cozy with America's daughter California. It's cute makes me think of me when I was younger. I asked him if he was falling for her, he said he's just pampering her to get more... Of our products in. But truth be told I think the way Lovino has been getting business done is risky. The Don thinks so too. He's like our actual boss except.... Ummm.... Oh except he has a back bone! Yeah our boss is a pussy, that's why I hang out with the don more.

"I want you talk to Lovino about this little ehhh... Girlfriend of his." The don said. "I think this romance of his is getting out of hand."

"How so sir?" I asked.

"They showed up in the papers... A little a gossip rag did an article on them." He said. "I don't need this kind of attention on our organization. I am well aware that the Americans can easily be coaxed with money... But it's the Irish I'm worried about. If they see one member acting all lovey dovey they'll see it as weakness. Any weakness shown will cost us greatly. Understood." He said.

"Understood Sir, I'll speak to him right away." I said.

I went California's place, a real swank place in Bev.. Hills, Romano really went all out for this one. I was driving down the street when I saw Lovino walking out Cali's house. He was adjusting his tie and buttoning up his shirt. I know he's been nailing her tonight, I couldn't help but smile. Way to go Lovino, I gotta admit Cali is pretty sexy. He started walking up the street when I yielded the car to drive at his walking speed.

"Hey Lovino we need to talk." I said as I opened the passenger side door.

"*yawn* Can you make it quick... I'm kinda sleeply." He said.

"The dons not happy Lovino, in fact he's kinda pissed." I told him.

"F*** let me guess he saw the damn article about me and Cali." He said.

"Yup, he wants you to stop acting all sweet like that.... Says the Irish might see it as weakness and take our turf right from under us." I said.

"I was trying to get Cali in the bootleg mood but now.... Now it's gotten out of hand. Dammit.... It's that guy again." He said looking into the rear view mirror.

"What guy?"

"This guy who's been following me and Cali for a week... I think he may be nark." He said.

"Hmmmm...I know that guy."

"Yeah me too... I've seen him every now and then talking to that runt DC.... I think he might be a fed." Said Romano.

"Shall we drive to the drive to the nearest bridge in case he's following us?" I said as Romano smiled and nodded in approval. We drove to the closest bridge over water. We pulled over and got out of the car and pretended we had a flat. I waved my arms like I was asking or calling for help like I do with Germany. Just as planned he pulled over and stepped out of the car to help, like a good little citizen.

"I don't see anything wrong with the tire." The man said as he knelt to see the tire up close.

"It's flat trust me... I know flat tires." I said as I signaled Romano who was ready with the bat (gift from America).

"Uhhh...... I'm sorry sir I don't see any...." Said the man before Romano bashed his skull in. "Looks like I got a home run." Said Romano. "So what do we do now? Chuck him in the river or something?" He asked. I actually thought on that a little now, his car would still be here if we tossed him. That would look too suspicious. If he really is... was a fed they'ed come looking for him and if they find him like this.... They'll have their first suspect. I thought a better idea would be to make it look like an accident.

"Put him in the drivers seat and make this look like an accident." I said while digging through the dead mans pockets.

"Why?" Romano asked.

"Because we were right... He is a fed." I said as I presented him his wallet. "See look it say's agent... We have to make this look like an accident. If we get caught the Don will be all over our asses. And so will everyone else." I told him.

"They'll put the pieces together won't they?" he said being dead on.

We put the wallet back in his pocket and cleaned the bat clean. Then we tossed it in the river, better safe than sorry. We put him in the drivers seat and had the car drive off the bridge. It was tough but we got it done, we hid our trail. They of course were going to send a search party to look for him but... You know no need to worry. The next day I was supposed to have a private lunch meeting with Romano, but he brought that twit California with him... I'm getting real tired of this. When she got up to use the rest room I told him she was getting in the way. He said that he was well aware of that but apparently we've been making tons of money. Apparently the celebrities in Hollywood like wine and champaigne. I still don't like this mess we're in though. Something is going to happen I can feel it.