Romano and California: a Hetalia political union

DC's tantrum

"What do you mean he hasn't reported back!!!!" Shouted a very cranky DC.

"I'm sorry sir. But Agent Douglas hasn't reported back." Said the disgruntled agent.

"Are sure it's not because you idiots don't know how to do your jobs?!?!?!" Yelled DC as he tossed papers around."Where the hell was he last seen then? Can you tell me that or is this job too hard for a dumb s*** like you!" Cursed the tiny child.

"DC! Watch your language." Said America.

"Not now dad! Dammit Cummings where is Douglas?!?!" He said.

"We don't know, last we heard from him he was at a night club in the Hollywood and San Francisco areas. We're not sure if he's missing or if he just went AWOL." Said Agent Cummings.

"Well that is just great! F***ing fantastic." said DC. "If he's missing find him, If he's gone AWOL bring him to me first. Then if he doesn't need a hospital afterwards book him." Ordered DC.

"DC I thought I told you it was bad to curse... now I have to wash that dirty mouth of yours with soap." America said.

"Hey don't get mad at me for doing what you asked!" Said DC.

"What you mean I never told you to act that way." Said America.

"You told me to have an agent follow Cali around and keep an eye on her. Well I sent one and he hasn't reported back. No one seems to know where he went off to. He's either missing or he went AWOL." Said DC.

"Wait so he just disappeared?" Asked America feeling sorry for stressing DC out. Poor kid.

"Yes. Errr... We don't know exactly. If your missing you drop off the face of the earth same thing for going AWOL." Said DC cupping his head in his hands."My head hurts."

"You want me to carry you?" Said America as he picked up the tiny capital in his arms."So he's gone then huh?" He said.

"Uh huh...." He replied as he tried to nap in his fathers arms.

"Mr.DC! Mr.DC!" Shouted a panting guy in a suit.

"Dad put me down." Said DC as America lowered him back to the ground. "Jesus Christ Jones you smell like a sauna. What is it?" Said DC.

"We found him...*pant*... We found Douglas." Said Jones.   

"What really?!?! That's great!" Said DC. "Where is he? Is he ok or is he in hand cuffs?" he asked.

"Neither sir." Said Jones. "He's in a body bag. A boy scout troop found him on a river bank when they were on a nature walk. A couple miles up the river they found his car."

"What? How did he crash?" Asked America.

"We don't think he crashed." said Jones.

"What do you mean?"Asked DC.

"Well when we looked at the body it looked like he just hit his head over the steering wheel or something but then we found this in his head." Said Jones handing DC an evidence bag that had a piece of wood in it.

"What is it?" Asked America.

"It's a splinter." Said Jones. "We were looking at his wound since it was too big to of come from a steering wheel. We think some one may have set this up to look like an accident."

"Who do you think did it?" Asked America. 

"were not quiet sure yet." Said Jones.

"Uhhhh.... Excuse me Mr. America." Said a man in a police uniform.

"Oh uh hi." Said America.

"Are you all discussing the FBI agent that was found dead? If you are my name is officer Quinten. I was the one who called Agent Cummings to report the incident." Said Quinten.

"Oh hi. I'm DC anything you find on this case you bring to me alright." Said DC.

"Well umm I'm sorry little b... Errr Sir, I brought something we found while we drenched the river." Hand a baseball bat with a missing piece of wood. "We brought it to you because we found your signature on it." Said Quinten.

"Daddy.... Is this bat yours?" Asked DC.

"We highly doubt it belonged to your father sir. If you look closely you'll see this was a gift for someone." Said Quinten.

"Who was it a gift for? Russia?" Asked DC.

 "No...."Said America."It was a gift to Romano and Italy..." said America.

"Wait... Those guys?" Said DC. "But those guy's.... Wouldn't hurt a... fly...." Stuttered DC. "Dammit! I should have known!" Shouted DC.

"DC calm down no one saw this coming." Said America. 

"No I should have known that what happened to you wasn't an accident! They hurt you didn't they?! They burned your house down didn't they?" Asked DC with tears in his eyes. 

"I... I... DC... I was.... I didn't...." Stuttered America before falling to his knees."DC...I'm sorry." said America.

"No... I'm sorry... I'm sorry tht everyone in this family is disfunctional and stupid like you!" Shouted DC before running to his room to cry... and then take a nap.