Be My Saving Grace

Thirty-four

Thirty-four

{ what's the use if what you love is what you have? }

"Where are we headed?" Tony asked.

"Portland, Maine," I replied, "it's a little over two hours away from Boston."

"Great, two hours stuck in the car with you," Tony huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

I reached over and smacked his arm, "asshole," I snapped.

"I'm kidding, Grace!" He laughed, "I love getting to spend one on one time with you."

"Good," I whispered, inwardly sighing in relief that he hadn't meant it.

Tony reached over and took my right hand and laced his fingers through mine. I smiled as he softly squeezed my hand. He was staring out the window, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand.

The two hour car ride seemed to fly by, and I slowly pulled into my brother's driveway. Tony squeezed my hand once more and then got out of the car. He quickly ran over to my side and opened the door for me, "you can do it, baby. I'm right here," he smiled and snaked his arm around my waist.

We walked up to the front door and knocked. A few seconds later Anthony opened the door, "sister!" He said in his fake cheery voice.

"Hello, Anthony," I replied quietly.

"Come in," he smiled and motioned us inside. "Would guys like something to drink? A beer maybe?"

"No thank you," I said quickly.

"Well, well, well," Anthony chuckled, "the same old feisty girl I left behind. But you look heavier, you must've put on quite a bit of weight since I saw you last."

I tensed and Tony's arm tightened around my waist. Anthony knew about the eating disorders I had in high school, and the hell I went through to be skinny. Yet he still gives me hell about it. I'd almost gotten over my eds, and then he tells me I'm fat. I guess I won't be eating for the rest of this tour.

"Lets get eating though, Mom said her and her boyfriend flew out to see me, so they'll be here soon," Anthony said, walking into the kitchen.

Anthony had hamburgers and salad set out on the dining room table, and a bottle of wine with it. We sat down and ate in awkward silence. My brother kept giving Tony dirty looks when he wasn't looking. "What kind of man doesn't eat burgers?" He asked.

Tony looked at me and then at my brother, "the vegetarian kind," he replied simply.

"Oh, so you're some tattooed, vegetarian, faggot who thinks he's right for my sister?" Anthony growled.

"Anthony, stop," I hissed.

"Well, you're not. She was perfect with Andy."

"You know what Andy did to me, why do you insist on me being with him? Why do you insist on me being raped and beaten on a daily basis? Why? Aren't brothers supposed to want what's best for their baby sisters? Aren't brothers supposed to protect their baby sisters, instead of handing them over to a man far more evil than satan himself?" I snapped. I was screaming and I shoved myself away from the table. "Fuck you, Anthony," I added before running out the door.

"Grace!" Tony called after me, and I heard his footsteps steadily start to catch up with me.

He literally tackled me to the ground, breaking the fall with his arms though. "Baby, what happened back there?" He asked quietly.

"You saw the whole thing. You know what happened," I replied, my voice cracking and tears streaming down my cheeks.

Tony softly kissed the tears off my face, and held me tightly against his chest. "Don't listen to that asshole, you're perfect the way you are," he whispered.

"It's hard... He's my brother, Tony," I sighed, "it's hard when my brother wants me to be with an asshole that rapes me and beats and tells me how worthless I am... I wish he could see you like I do..."

I didn't say anything. I knew she wasn't finished, she just needed a minute. I softly kissed her forehead and lightly pulled her onto my chest. I laid on my back and stared up at her beautiful face as she tried to calm down enough to speak again.

"I wish he could see how perfect you are, Tony..." Grace whispered, "you make me so happy... I've never been as happy as I am with you... You mean the world to me, and I uh, I love you, Tony."

She said it. Grace said it first. That means she won't run away when I say it. Wait. Grace just said she loved me. Oh my god. Literally the best day of my life right now.

"I love you too, Grace, so fucking much. You have no idea how much you mean to me," I smiled and softly kissed her lips.