10 Dreams Of You ¬ Larry

Video Diary - 10/26/14

"I'm still here, Louis..."

At the sound of Harry's loud voice, I froze. It's 3 a.m. and I'm wide awake.

I'm going insane.

"You aren't going insane...you already are..." I mumble to myself, staring blankly at my video camera sitting on my desk. I move from my spot in bed, reaching for the camera. In that moment, I swear that I see Harry across the room, lurking in the shadowy corner.

"...It's all in your head, Louis..." I think to myself, picking up the camcorder.

"But it's not in your head." Harry says to me, and I scream.

"You're not here! You're not, you're not, you're-!" I shouted, breaking off my sentence with a loud sob. I drop the camera in my lap, and cry into my hands loudly.

In seconds, Liam and Niall urgently came into my room.

"He's here, but he's not!" I yell, removing my wet hands from my face. I cry louder, staring at Liam and Niall through blurry eyes. "He's here...!" I shout, tossing myself to the floor and yanking the covers furiously. "But he's fucking not!" I scream at Liam and Niall, throwing my video camera.

Niall reaches out immediately to catch it, and Liam rushes to my side to console me. I cry even more, and I see Harry standing in the far corner behind Niall. I break down even more, my breathing erratic. I furiously began to shake my head as Liam wrapped his arms around me. Niall gently placed my video camera on my desk, giving me a blank look.

"...Harry's not here, Louis." Niall reminded me, taking a glance to the spot where I was intently staring at. "He's never gonna be here..."

"Don't listen to him." Harry told me, still remaining in his dark corner. I sadly shook my head as I closed my eyes tight.

As I lowered my head into the crook of Liam's neck, I continued to cry. I swore that I felt a soothing hand go through my hair, but it wasn't Liam's, nor was it Niall's, and Zayn had moved into his own flat...

-

After Niall and Liam took a while calming me down, I refused to go back to sleep. Instead, I decided to do my video diary. I intended to do so earlier, but I had a moment of insanity... Pushing the memory aside, I placed the camera onto the tripod, opened it, pressed the power button, and began the video diary.

10/26/14

"Why, Harry..." I said, my eyes refusing to leave the camera. "Why..." I said lowly, tears forming in my eyes.

In this dream, Harry began to do something that worried me so.

Dream 6

"...You haven't touched your food, Harry." I said, a confused expression taking over my face. "What's wrong, love?" I asked you, reaching my hand across the table. You pulled away from my touch, a blank look on your face.

"It's nothing. I'm just not hungry, that's all." You told me, avoiding eye contact. "I'm going upstairs." you said, shoving your plate lightly as you got up from the table.

The next morning, you refused on eating anything. That morning, we had an argument about it. The argument resulted in you finally eating...but then when I wasn't around, you would force it back up...

As soon as I finished telling the dream, I turned the camera off with tears in my eyes. These dreams are tearing me apart.

"You're tearing me apart, Harry." I said quietly, staring in the same corner as I did a while ago.

"Think about how you made me feel, Louis." Harry's voice said solemnly, and Harry's journal then fell to the floor. I stared at it, beginning to feel like I should just jump off of a cliff...