Jesse's Girl

Chapter Six

     Every time they were together, my stomach tightened and my hands clenched into fists. Liss kept warning me that if I waited too long Robyn would never forgive me. Would she forgive me if I said what I was feeling anyway?

  I was sick; sick of hiding my feelings; sick of fighting with myself; sick at the thought that this was Jesse’s girl. Ever since their engagement I hadn’t slept a whole night through; and that was only getting worse now that the wedding was getting closer and closer. Surely Robyn had to notice how distraught I was.

  I knew I needed to tell her, and I knew I had to tell her soon. So I invited her to lunch, sure my voice sounded very strained over the phone. How is a man to sound when he’s about to profess his love to another man’s woman?

  “Sorry I took so long,” Robyn said with a smile as she sat in front of me. “Man, it’s raining cats and dogs out there!”

  I tried to smile, to act like nothing in particular was going on through my head. But the truth was I was nervous and, maybe, a little scared, too. I didn’t know what to say. Did I make pointless small talk or just go ahead and launch into it?

  “You alright?” she asked after a minute.

  Mentally kicking myself, I forced a smile. “Yeah, sorry. Mind’s kinda muddled lately, I guess.”

  Robyn nodded, picking up the menu to browse through it. “I hear you. Everything’s so hectic. I’m surprised I even had time to get out and have some lunch! Matilda has pedicures scheduled later, so I’m gonna have to make it a short one.” She smiled apologetically at me. “Sorry. She’s kinda uptight, so if I miss it, that’s just gonna be more stress.”

  I shuddered visibly. “Yeah, that Matilda is…certainly…” I shuddered again.

  Robyn laughed. “You’re just like Jesse.”

  I stared at her, a little panicked. I cleared my throat. “I am?”

  She nodded, eyes back on the menu. “He can’t stand her, either.”

  “Well…I mean, I know she’s your friend and everything, but…why?”

  Robyn laughed softly. “She means good. And she’s different around guys. She just thinks she has to be someone entirely different in order to get their attention.”

  “But you’re so mellow!” I laughed. “How can you have such a wired friend?”

  She shrugged. “Cause otherwise I think I’d be a hermit. And anyway, if it weren’t for Mattie, I never would’ve met Jesse.”

  I cleared my throat. “Matilda, uh, introduced you two?”

  “No,” Robyn laughed. “Mattie dragged me to a club and that’s where I met Jesse.” She looked up at me, brows raised. “Jesse told you the story, didn’t he?”

  He had, but I never paid attention to it. “Yeah, he did,” I finally said.

  “I’m sorry,” she said with a small life. “You said you had something to tell me and here I am going on about stuff you already know. So. What was it you wanted to talk about?”

  I just stared at her, with her innocently curious smile, and I choked. I couldn’t tell her. She’d said I was just like her fiancé, for crying out loud! Jesse would never let himself fall in love with my fiancé.

  I smiled. “Oh, yeah. That. It’s, um….not really important.”

  Robyn didn’t back down, though. “Yes, it is. C’mon, Josh. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”